[-LiFe's a BiTcH N DeN YoU DiE-]

2005-06-27T07:42:00.000+08:00

Well..finally i think i should start blogging. Dont you think so?

2005-04-13T06:53:00.000+08:00

It's like 7 in the morning. Why am i not sleeping like i always do?? Yea..good question.
Because, yesterday i woke up at 2pm. Then i wasnt feeling too well, was feverish and all. I took a bath coz i thought of going out. After taking a HOT bath, got dressed, i lie down and fell asleep again. Haha...tak larat ah. Your body goes all weak when ur sick. I remembered i slept around 4pm and woke up at 6.30pm. Dah puas tido so logically, i couldnt sleep at night. So at 12.30 am, i started ironing the pile of clothes, coz orang yang slalu datang gosok baju tu die operation so cant come ah. By 3.30 am, my back was aching and i was perspiring profusely. Hehehe...so i changed and went to sleep. Woke up at 6 am nak sembayang subuh sampailah skarang. Funny, i dun feel sleepy at all. And also i miss blogging. Haha....
Nothing interesting has been happening. This whole week i'm not working at Coffee Bean. There was even a training class yesterday and i didnt go.
Eh, to those yang pakai tertiary ez-link right, do u guys know how expensive transportation is nowadays???
Coz Monday i top up my farecard to $10. By the end of the day, only left $2++. Wahlau~!!! ok, i tell u where i go:
1)Take MRT to Dover
2)Take bus to specific location at Dover
3)Take bus back to MRT
4)Take train to Yio Chu Kang
5)Take train to woodlands
6)Take train back to Yio Chu Kang
7)Take bus home

Oklah, maybe not so expensive. I travel a lot on dat day. Well i miss those pri and sec school days where everything and everywhere u go is 45 cents. Hehehe....
Hmm..nowadays kan, bila aku keluar, nanti bersepah lelaki yang kacak2. Haha... Best jugak cuci cuci mata. Heheheh...
Hmm...besides all this, ape lagi eh? Nothing much ah...
Oh ya, insyallah i going Bangkok this 29th. Wheeeeeeeeee~!!!! =)

2005-04-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

Ok...here are some replies to everyone's tag.

Mar: I dun really mean to lash out. But i have no choice. Furthermore, you could have told me yg mak kau akan bising. The way u put it made it sounds as if Ms Congeniality was far more important than seeing me. I know its like im not dat important anyway, its just dat i haven seen u 4 a while.

Anonymous: Who are you? If you say that i usually eat a lot anyway, den you should noe me better. u think i have an attitude problem? I dunnoe....go figure.

Someone: Thanx for the werds of wisdom ya.

Khai: Wats yer new add?

Afeez: Thanx tok penghulu. ;)

Today i had no work. So i had to go for counselling at NYP (not because of my so called attitude problem) but for my studies. Its tomorrow. So just now met up wit Spongebob (dinah) and went to town. DIdnt do much. i ate a lot as usual. den spongebob wanted to go home. so i met up wit my best fren nadiah!! Missed her soo much!!! We met at causeway, had dinner...heheh....den chit chatted and went home. Not much fun and excitement though.

2005-04-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

Construction is thru halfway. Firstly, a shout out of thanx to everyone who tag ya...Hmmm...
Recently i have been eating a lot. Really a lot. PMS? Nah...dont think so. More to depression i presume. Its like these past few days i am so pissed. People get on my nerves,my muscles and my bones. So irritating!!
Firstly, im pissed about people going to GPA finals. Tak ajak aku. Even my friends, Wediah and Marni tak ajak. Of all people, even Marni pergi. Kenaperrr laaa korang tak ajak aku? Yah i was working but it wont hurt if u ask right? Takperlaaahhh..... Kalau Mardiana tak bilang aku, aku pon tak tahu. Mar biase ah gi ngan An.
Next im pissed at home. This is nothing new ah but its even harder to sit at home. They nag and nag and nag non-stop. My ears will bleed.
Next im pissed with my friends. Each and every single one of you. Especially Mar. I asked her out a while on Sunday night. She dun wan because she wants to watch Ms Congeniality which she has already watched. Yelah, Mar cuma nak keluar ngan jantan je per!!!
This is how pissed i am. I know ur my best friend and all but dis is just too much ah!! Now, i dun even fucking care what you think of me. Dont like me? Dont be my friend. In the end, i will see whether i have a true friend. I said many many times before. Sometimes im being too nice ah. I helped a friend who is having BGR crisis. Told her to break up for her own good coz the guy is treating her like crap, she dun wan. She did break up a while and the patched up again. Haaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Suka hatilah!! Aku da warning siang-siang, apape jgn cari aku lagi. Da puas berbuih sakk mulut aku nasihatkan die. Die ikut resa die, sembaranglah.......

2005-04-02T06:52:00.000+08:00

Missed me?? Yeah..thought so...Wheeeee~!!! Sorrie coz i didnt update fer so long coz i am alwayz busy and too too tired. Yeah, now its 6.53 am in the morning and im blogging coz im working later at 9 and i dun dare to sleep coz i noe for sure i will NOT wake up fer work. Hahah...Den later, late again. Den muz take cab again. Den kene fuck upside down by manager. Well, ok not really fucked ah...
Haiz...life has taken a sharp turn around the corner. Since my last update a whole lotta has happened. Mostly bad ones, as always. Now my grandfather has stopped working already and so that means i cant no longer depend on them fer $$ and furthermore no more school already. So how to get $$?? And last month's pay at Pastamania was only $60 coz i worked like twice only dat month. Why? Coz i was kinda tired and so called wanted to focus more on school ah. Yah..looked wat happened? Think im distracted by work? Nah...i dun think so. So like now im working extra hard to earn more $$ and i dun even now whether i will be able to make it for that Bangkok trip. Im juggling 3 jobs now. Wish me all the best. I wanna get fourty winks first b4 i got to work.

2005-03-24T01:02:00.000+08:00

WHoaa...Rasanya macam da tak lama gitu tak blog. Maklumlah asyik busy ajer. Busy ngan aper? Ngan keje lah ape lagi? Coffee Bean & Pastamania. Dah mcm penat arh. Dat time aderlah, 3 days in a row keje. Penatnye na`uzubillah ah. And as usual aku tak attend skool. Malas. But dis cant go on coz im gonna get expelled or something soon and that would make my chances very slim to enter any other tertiary institution. Haiz....so now pops another problem in my head. Semenjak dua menjak nie aku slalu balik lambat ajerlah. Yelah, da takde apape nak buat kat rumah. So usually aku ckp aku skola n finish around 7 or 8. Sometimes i also use MCG as an excuse. Sorrie arh guys but in dis dog eat dog world, anything goes. So smalam bila aku balik lambat, makcik aku yg sial dan sibok nak mampos tu sound aku ah. Die tanye aku masih drama lagi? Den i say ya.....Den die nak step marah2 ah cakap "drama ape lagi???!!" "kan kata hari tu da abis!!".....Eh please larh, stupid or wat she? Dah lepas habis 1 production takkan dats it kan??? Merepek sak...den she say she oredi told my mom n die bising2 arh. Dah lepas tu, nenek aku pon suka rub salt on the wound arh. Dia cakap "kau tak habis2 ngan drama.kau berenti skola balik ngan mak kau pon bagus.Berdramalah ngan mak kau pat sana! dah lah yg ini cekik darah. ni pulak ade tambah lagi satu cekik darah(referring to my bro)".....maybe to you guys its funny ah coz when i tell dis to my frens, they laugh. Its not. Its very hurting arh!! Dah macam kau kene halau gitu. Macam kau rasa diri kau ni yg tak sedar diri. Menyusahkan orang. Tapi satu sen pon tak guna. Entahlah, but maybe going back to my mom n staying there for good is not such a bad idea now. Its sounds appealing. So just now my grandmother told me ah yang makcik aku tu try to "psycho" mak aku by telling her evrything about me arh. If u guys were to remember my very first few blogs, aku pernah make dis promise dat once again if she butts in into my life, dats it. Im telling her off. i cannot take it arh. last time eh, sebelom die menumpang kat sini, hidop aku bahagia lah eh!! Bila die da sakit, da masuk hospital, takda orang nak jaga. Dah lah tua nak mampos dan tak berlaki, mane lagi die nak pergi? Dulu bukannye die kisah sangat pasal keluarga nie! Apsal skarang baru nak menyebok?!? Eh! Kalau bukan datuk ngan nenek aku yang kutip die, bagi die duit untuk further check up, aku rasa dah hidop tepi jalan lah!! Bila die sakit, sape yg jaga dier?? AKU! Sape mandikan dier?!! AKU! Sape cebokkan sumer?!?! Eh!! AKU lah eh!!! So berterima kasih sikit lah. Ni kalau ditegur takleh accept!! Balik2 cakap yang orang marah aku sebab mereka sayangkan aku..i spit on dat ah!!!! Pi mampos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*breathe in deeply*
Ok. enough of angst. So sekarang, only time will tell. But i got a few options though.
1)Go back to my mom and leave everything here.
2)Go live with someone else (i dunnoe who)
3)Either i go or she goes
Ok, option 3 its like not really an option arh. But btol. Either she go or i go. She also hasut2 my grandfather and tell him not to give me any money nor pay for my consession fees. Kiwak! Dah tua tu, sedarlah diri tu sikit. Pikiran jahat sak!! If kalau betul, he really listen to her, den i dunnoe wat to say. I go ah. Thats it. Biarkan. Mampos ah. Jangan cari aku. Buatlah suma kerja rumah sendiri. Cuci baju. jemur baju.Lipat baju.Kemas rumah sume. Buatlah kau sendiri. Die pikir die hero per. Sedangkan baju sendiri aku yg cucikan. Baju die kalau handwash pon suroh aku jemurkan, nie nak buat keje rumah? Hmph! i roll my eyes in disgust man!!

2005-03-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

This one whole week i have not been going to school. I could care less. Monday orientation for Coffee Bean. Tuesday start training.Wednesday attachment.Thursday was training and working and today was working again. Arrgghh!!! Tired! Tired! Tired! That is all i can think of doing right now, which is to work. Keje pat coffee bean and pastamania.Pi mampos pasal sekolah. i have already registered for the NAFA's dip in theatre. Harap2 dapat. Penat ah...K lah, blog masih under construction ok. So bear with it.

2005-03-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

Ntah dah kenaper ntah dengan aku semenjak dua menjak nie da tersampuk band2 Indon. Yg paling best sekali Sheila on 7. Especially this song on my blog right now. Its just so....nice....especially part yg die mengeluh. Berhenti berharap. Exactly what i am doing right now. You know sometimes, you just keep waiting and waiting and waiting in a hope that a miracle might just happens. But time just stood still and nothing is happening. And you feel so hopeless so depressed that you just feel like giving up. Yup. Haaaiiizzzz.....
Upon quiting nursing, i have a few options laid in front of me. Which is:
1) Join Business in NYP
2) Join Business in SP
3) Join NAFA in Diploma in Theatre

I am so interested in the 3rd option because hari tu aku pi NAFA nak tgk my bro's gig den stumbled upon the pamphlets and i straight away fell in love with this diploma. But a few questions pop up in mind. Is there a future for me if i take this course? Dah gitu, datuk aku bising2, cakap banyak buang duit, den aku tanak belajar betul2, bla bla bla. Aku tak bersalah. Manelah aku tahu dat i end up not liking nursing. My mom told me dat day my grandparents will surely be unhappy with my decisions. But whatever it is, jangan endahkan cacian, makian atau criticism dari mereka. Because it will only patahkan semangat aku dan akan mendorong aku untuk berhenti belajar buat selama lamanya. Well my mom is right. This is exactly what is happening right now. Haaiizz......Betul jugak cakap nenek aku "Dah lah Siti. Berhenti skolah sudah. Pergi skolah pun tak guna. Buang duit tapi tak pass2"
Yelah....aku yang bersalah. Aku seorang anak dan cucu yang tak berguna yang pemalas dan cuma tahu buang duit orang ajer. Aku seorang yang tak mengenang budi dan satu sen pun tak guna dalam dunia nie. Itulah aku..........

2005-03-10T13:50:00.000+08:00

Sorry people for not updating for quite sometime. Lately i have just been so confused, so stressed, so depressed, so angry, so pissed, so psychotic.....My mind is just not stable. I have a lot of things in my mind. One after another things pile up in my head. I walk around aimlessly and i am always in a daze, thinking about why i have to think about these things. Sigh....
The major problem im facing is about school. I see all my friends withdrawing from their course. I too wanted to withdraw. Sadly, i just found out nursing is not for me. i learned it the hard way.
My clinical assessment is today and so is bioscience practical test. Two days ago only i started preparing. Why i didnt prepare early? Because i was still confuse remember..i really dunnoe what to do. So yesterday i really did study for my assessment and thought i would spend the time studying for bioscience after my assessment. I was so stressed yesterday that when i went home, i was having fever, 38.7.....how i wish it was 0.3 degrees higher, so i can be on the verge of dying or sumthing. If it wasnt bad enough i was having fever, i was also having diarrhoea, i was feeling nauseatic (dizzy n vomiting feeling), and i was so tired. Yet i stayed up till 1 am to do some more revision and drug card. Then i retreat to the comfort of my bed, and still i was thinking about today. I made up my mind yesterday that whatever happened to me today will decide my fate in this course. On my way to school today i was even studying in the MRT. Then judgement day came.....i was so fed up during assessment because you were so nervous that sometimes you forget somethings you know. And thus, FAILED MY ASSESSMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck that fucking fuck assessment arrhh!!! I was crying on my way out. I quickly headed to the mcg room, fadhly (from silat) came into the lift, then i looked at him and he say

"asal muke mcm sed....eh!! kau ok tak?" (coz i had tears ah)

It was nice of him to acknowledge, and i told him i failed my assessment and he said thats poly life, its not the end of the world. In the end you will pass. Thanks for the advise fad.
Its true that i will pass in the end but along the way do i have to fall and hurt myself with every step before i can reach the top. By the time i reach the peak, i will be so tired, so bruised and so injured. That is exactly what is happening right now. So i have made up my mind that i am quitting this course. I have even appeal for a course at SP in business admin. And i am not even going for the bioscience practical later...WHeeee!!

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow just holds such better days
Days when I still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

I don't wanna waste my time
Becoming another casualty of society
I'll never fall in line,
Become another victim of your conformity and back down

2005-03-05T23:21:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to "obsession" by Frankie J and Baby Bash and i can cry listening to this song? Why?

If this ain't love den what am i feeling?
What am i doing wrong?
If this ain't love
It is just an illusion that i have in my heart

Yepp.....wat am i really feeling?? What did i do wrong to deserve this? So i guess after all it was just an illusion in my heart....Aku bakkan bertepuk sebelah tangan. Haaaiiizzz.....
A sudden rush of angst, sadness rush over me. I have so many thing sto think about right now and whatever is happening now is just not helping. Life's a BITCH.

2005-03-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to me!! Happy Birthday to me!! Happy 18th Birthday to meeee!! Happy Birthday to me!! Hahaha....yeay2..officially 18. An age where i can legally smoke,drink,club,drive and watch M18 movie. This year i celebrated my birthday wit my friends. It was great!! Me,Marni,Wediah,Dinah,Wak and Raqiah went to Sentosa, Siloso Beach and spent 1/2 the day there. We swam,buried me in the sand, played frisbee,eat tuna sandwhich,drank vanilla coke, eat pretzels, played taitee,played bluff,played murderer,played heart attack. Hahaha...so great. But a sickening thing happened ah. Kita sume plan nak swim to the other "island" which was about 100m away ah. Wediah n Raq were weak swimmers and in the end only Wak,Wediah and Marni ended up going. Then halfway through, ade one of their tangan yang terkapai kapai. So lifeguard ingat ade orang ngah drowning. Mampos....There were 2 lifeguards. Yg the one who went to "save" was ok. The other scolded me n Raq like crazy. Die cakap kalau da tau wediah tak boleh swim, kenapa biarkan dorang pergi? Kalau terjadi apape on the way macam mane?? Ape yg die cakap tu make sense lah, tapi asal nak kene marah2 kan? Tak boleh cakap baik2? Then furthermore wediah had 2 strong swimmers with her. Haaaiizzz.....
Kite, the girls saw Nadira from EC dalam toilet masa ngah mandi. Haha...We didnt even notice it was her coz she looked so thin and tall until she strike a conversation with us. Turns out that she used to be a nurse!!! Wow!! Shocking. Hahaha...Maybe i wanna be like her also, do nursing and then masuk entertainment line. Coz dari kecik i was from entertainment line, sekali niatnyer terbantut bergitu sahaja. Nak tau kenaper? Ask me...Heheehe
All of us were so shagged after Sentosa. Dinah and Marni had to go home first coz they were running late. So tinggal aku,wediah,raq n wak. Kite ingkatkan nak makan pat harbourfront centre. Sekali there wasnt much place to eat and then we landed at Lau Pa Sat. Hahaha....Had satay....and it was sickening coz satay die you can really tell its machine-made coz the shape were so perfect and you cant really taste the difference between the beef and mutton. Yucckkss!! So after dinner, we headed to esplanade. Kita jalan, sekali pat Victoria Theatre terserempak ngan Heikal and Farhan and also some of the familliar faces during Gema Puisi Artistik. Heikal got free tix from die nyer kakak sedare to watch Tun Fatimah by Sri Warisan. I soo soo wanted to watch that also!! Hmmphh!! Anywayz, all of us headed to Esplanade and sat at roof garden while poor Heikal and Farhan indulged on their instant noodle and coke. Heehee...Den kite berbual bual lah, the conversation revolved around Heikal. Hehehe...Den da 11+ gitu kita semua head home. Today, im soo shagged that aku tak gi keje. Hehehe...Jahat aku, lagipun da macam benci ah pat Pastamania tu. Semalam masa pat Esplanade sempat aku apply for a job at that Salva's shop. Die macam kedai mamak tapi ade air-con. Hehehe...So later today i will try to apply for some new jobs. I need the $$ to go to Bangkok. Hehehe..Last but not least, i wanna extend my greatest gratitude to Marni, Wediah, Wak, Raqiah, Dinah, for the presents and sudi datang meraikan hari yang bermakna bersama sama aku. Haikel and Farhan for spending cebisan cebisan of my birthday with me. Hehhe...and not forgetting the rest who sms-ed me and wishing me. Thanx guys!!

2005-03-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

tHIS Is soo PATHETIC!!!!! How come no one is tagging me?? Sume org mati keras per?? Haaiiz..
Lots of stuff has happened but some just didnt happened.
Gema Puisi Artistik (GPA) is finally over. Sadly we didnt make it to Top 10 even though i knew we deserved a spot. How could the judges be so blind? MAybe to them our performance was not abstract enough? They cant see the uniqueness in the message we are trying to convey? Fuck it man. I an soo pissed and disappointed. Up to a point where i was crying when the last spot was given to a sec sch. Haaiizz....Never mind. Everybody did their best. We committed ourselves. We even proved ourselves. Yet nothing else can be done. But i cherish every step of the way towards this GPA. The joy and sorrows, i will remember it as if it was like yesterday. Once again, special thanks to the seniors for the guidance, patience and faith you guys had in the juniors. I hoped we have done you guys proud. Also not forgetting Yana,Aishah and Aida for hair. Raq n Idah kerane tolong kite gosok baju dan Idah susah2 buatkan props, touch up here n there, my costumes sume. Special thanx ya. I love you all. So sekarang aku fikir2 balik, da takde GPA ni, lepas skolah nak buat aper eh? Dulu bole jugak lepak pat MCG room, main taitee, snap, split,bluff,murderer,heart attack,donkey. ehhehehe...i hope kite sume masih leh lepak pat situ yer.
But anywayz, after GPA and de-briefing, 12 of us including my 3 outside frens went for dinner at Sakura at City Hall. Blardy expensive. And i had 4 glasses of drink. By the end of it all, i can barely even walk. Then we all head to esplanade and sat at roof garden. Last2, main murderer. Heheheh....But it was great fun. Those who didnt went, well its a waste. Haha. Oh ya, sekarang muka,neck ngan dada aku tgh ade rashes. I think i was allergic to the foundation you guys put on me. So remember eh, next time jgn pakai tu kat aku. Hehe...On the way home from esplanade, i was scratching and my scalp was so tired from the pulling effect. Rambut aku da jadi tak tentu arah. Balik mandi, i had to wash my hair 4 times to get rid of the hair spray effect. Peh keras!! And banyak rambut aku yg gugur jugak during bathing coz i had to straighten back my hair. Sigh..the prize to pay for beauty. Anyway i looked bad duirng GPA. i looked so....ROUND.....juz so round like ball. I also dunnoe why. Hmmmzzz......I was really so tired that lepas mandi aje terus tidur nyenyak. Next day, i went to kampung collection untuk pulangkan balik segala harta benda. Im so broke sebab sewa bende bodoh tu kene bayar duit sendiri. ArrgghH!!!!!!

2005-02-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

I'm almost being a pro at taitee. Hehehhe.... Anyway, today was an eventful MCG session that i can never forget. Egos were bruised. Tension were rising. Questions were asked. Answers were given. People were hurt. But truth prevails. Everything is almost ok now. Forget the past. Look ahead into the future. I love you guys. Everyone of u guys. No matter wat i said, no matter wat i do, i did it for a reason.

2005-02-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

Finally changed my blogskin coz the last one was too...messy. Because of the picture of my tiger that made it messy. Haha. Well it's been a while since i updated. Sorry. Have just been busy. But mostly things that happens are down earth shitty. So ape guna cakap kan? Today Sunday, i sat at home whole day after cancelling my work. Bad mistake. I SHOULD have work instead. Duduk kat rumah ni mcm duduk dalam neraka. Panas dan full of angst. Tak berterima kasih tau orang duduk kat rumah, lagi nak maki2. Klua salah. Duduk rumah salah. Abe nak buat aper?!?! Mcm sial laaa !!!!!!!!! Aaaarrggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!
But anyway, Friday went to NYJC for the stupid dry run. It was stupid alright. We only had 8 mins. No extra time given. We were already rushing and the ppl there were like "NYP u got 4 mins left"......."NYP u got 2 mins left".........DIAMLAH!!!! Alamak!! Buat orang bingit sakk!! Da lah kesuntukan masa abe die buat mcm gitu buat kita lagi gabra. Pala buto. Geram sak. Well after the whole shit ends, had nowhere to go. So ended up lepak kat kedai kopi dengan Rafi,Idah,Farhan,Wak and Marni. Minum air,makan rojak. Hehehehehe......It was worth while ah. Aku,marni and Idah share nurses' stories and of coz nurses' stories will lead to ghost stories..*shudders*..seram.....
Saturday went to JJC coz mardiana nye kawan sekolah situ den dey were having a carnival gitu. So we went down ah. It was ok. Then after that, aku dinah and nadiah went to town. We decided nak tengok chingay but it was full already ah so we ended up walking from far east plaza to PS. WOW!! I never imagined i would ever do that. It was good fun and good exercise. Heheh. Along the way, terserempak dengan primary school mates, secondary school senior, colleague lama dan bermacam2 orang. Hmmm....

2005-02-15T00:52:00.000+08:00

Thank god the bloody stoopid ever so shitty Valentines Day is over. So demoralizing. Chocolates here. Flowers there. Teddies everywhere. Haiiz...Actually it started fine you know. Coz like when i woke up, got miss call from mati keras. so when i woke up, i called him. Then he wished me Happy valentines (yah right, wats so happy bout it?) den he asked wat time im schooling n wat time is my break...ok u guys look at the conversation ah :

Mati keras: wat time u schooling?
Me: later at 10.
MK:ooh..abih habis kol brape?
Me: habis kol 9.
MK:skolah satu jam jer?

Hahahahhahahah!! Isn't dat funny??..........No?....Ok fine! But ya den he ask me wat time is my break den i told him 11 n he said ok he will come down to pass me something..i was rather astounded by that. Then i told him to come at 2 coz at 11 i got grp meeting n he said ok. den i asked again whether for sure or not he coming? he said ya....
So i was practically smiling from ear to ear. But then i reminded myself not 2 put 2 much hope on him coz dat time he PROMISED to meet me at town n he didnt turn up. 4 hours i waited...n he juz didnt turn up.....i kol, he never pick up. Either dat or he picks up n never say anything and worst still he would pick up n hang up. Aaaarrrggghh!!!!!!!
Well guess wat? It's true...he didnt turn up and dat just spoilt my mood. Some more i had a test for my elective..my elective is introduction to life sciences. It was ok ah but not enough time and got this 9 mark question asking me to describe the central dogma of molecular biology......right...i didnt noe the answer....so i had no choice...leave blank..haha....anyone who noes the answer plz tell me kiez?? den after the test, went straight to MCG. My head was already spinning then coz i didnt eat anything for the whole day. I was trying on the crash diet thing. But then i submitted to a chix foldover meal at McDonald's...hehehe....As quoted by Faisal and Raqiah "eat small quantities, doesnt matter how many times you eat per day, just eat in small quantities"..Yes boss!! Mission lose weight here i come...i hope. Well MCG went ok ah...just ok...nothing more, nothing less. Haiizz....So here i am at home, mugging, trying to heal coz my ears were ringing by my grandmother nagging and cursing at me. Wow...how fun to have ur OWN grandma cursing you. Anyone wants my grandmother to trade? Haiizz..Right now, i dun feel like sleeping. I just wanna sit and stare into blank space and think...think...and think about questions that i dun have the answers for.

2005-02-12T12:26:00.000+08:00

Juz got back from IMM...did some grocery shopping at Giant....Hmm..here i am blogging again. Got work later at 5...Malas sey nak keje....tapi kalau tak keje takde duit. I think dis month gaji aku mesti sikit nyer because last month aku keje bnyk sampai gaji aku almost $400..So it's not bad ah and i thought this month i wanna rest..But i think its a bad decision because kalau gaji sikit, later March my birthday i cant spend den also no $$ to pay to get a license...Haiiazz...Lagipon i think i cant work much because GPA is so dawning near and the i heard the whole of next week hari2 ade training. Not im complaining though but i need time for school,work and GPA...hmm....Oh ya...the script da habis dah so yesterday i read at Fadhil nyer laptop in the MCG room. I was quite amused by the role im taking. Our subject is on perkahwinan so i gonna become the bride ah. So guess lah sape groom dier?? Khai!!! Hahahaha..Its kinda funny ah and as expected, Fadhil told me he wasn't too happy with it. Of coz la....die takut nanti die jadi bahan ejekkan dan bahan ketawa orang. Why? Because he is paired up with me....yes ME....that's the whole problem....ME. Sapelah yg nak kawin ngan aku kan, may it be in real life or drama. Aku tak kisah sangat with the decision because Haikel and Rafi ckp mcm drama slalu lawa is paired with lawa...so for this GPA they wanna make a change. Maknanya tu aku ni memang lah tak lawalah kan...Takpelah, asalkan dapat pakai sanggul....Tol tak MARNI ?? Hehehe....Haiizz.....So Khai if ur reading this, i juz hope you wont become like asran....if u do, den.....................................................................................

2005-02-11T01:58:00.000+08:00

Its like 2 am in the morning...i should be sleeping. Kalau tak nanti nak skolah konferm tak leh bangun nyer. Instead here i am blogging. Well bcoz i juz finish dis like project fuck on community resources. I voluntered to pile up the information all ah....in the end, aku end up buat sorang. Mane lah tak fed up. There is like so many presentation and assignments due for this module HS1028. Like fuck. Its been a few days since i blogged. Kenaper?? Ntah...aku pon tak tau. Last saturday went to town and meet up with some MCG ppl like Wak, Haikel, Fadhil, Idah n Rafi. We were doing the GPA script thingy. By the end of it we managed to complete say abt 70%. I think....GPA is so coming near yet we havent start practising....Hmm...im worried and its starting to bother me. Haizz...Den after dat met up wit Dinah and Yati at Woodlands. We went for the UK funfair. Ok kepade sesape yg nak gi fun fair ni, you must be loaded coz one ride can reach up to $7.50. The most expensive is $25 which is the bungee thingy yg mcm G Max kat Clark Quay tu. Next, you have to be brave lah coz kebanyakan rides nyer take u up into the air. Next kalau boleh org yg kurus advisable untuk naik. Coz there is dis one ride, ur sitting, bile u naik den the seat mcm meniarap gitu. So you are like meniarap-ping in the air. Worse is like the barrier bar for safety doesnt feel secure. Kau rasa mcm kejap lagi bende tu akan unlock itself and you will fall and die. Lagi2 aku ni berat, so due to gravity your weight is leaning against the barrier bar. Scary....Den got another ride, which doenst take you in the air tapi die pusing2 laju2 and the seat itself can turn 360 degrees and the turning is a sudden jerky movement so now im bruised all over. Seriously bruised and painful. But you can still go there and waste your money on the game booths. Coz i tried my luck at basketball and won this huge stuff tiger. (picture as below) Cute kan?? But of coz lah its not pure luck, ianya dicampur dgn kebaikan abg yg menjaga booth tu. So by any chance if u land at my blog and reading this, i wanna say a huge thanx ya? Ahakz....I had work today and it was very very tiring. Aku tengok tempat lain tak penuh, Pastamania jek penuh. Like fuck. Then we are having dis promotion for Valentines. Haiizz...so sad. Everytime i go to work i will always think about si mati keras tu. I will always imagine dat when i walk into Pastamania, he will be there, working. Yelah ni sume imagination jer per. So its quite depressing and demoralizing ah. Haaiizz.....Aku tengok this yr many people wont be celebrating valentines ya? Hmmm...i wonder how come? But its set, this monday, after school, me and my gerl mates like marni,wediah,bhavani and mar will go out, lepak and demoralize ourselves coz its valentines and we have no date. Haizz....ade sesape nak join??

2005-02-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

Haaiizz....Dead as ever. Yesterday went to SP to catch Taufik Batisah. It was ok lah. Sore throat with all the screaming and shit. But after that it was so demoralizing. Me,mar,bhavani and nadiah were suppose to go out. We wanted to go to town and juz chill and catch up with each other. Bhavani back out. Den we were waiting for Nad coz she finish work at 4. Den 'sui-sui' at 4 die telefon cakap keje die banyak lom abis n she cant meet up wit us. we felt so pissed and so demoralized coz its going to be mendak ah pergi town 2 org jer. So on the way there, both of us were quiet coz we felt so down and demoralized. And when we reached town it was worst. There were so many ppl and of coz so many couple. Haiz...kite berdua dah lah single so it made matters even worse. We were aimless, jln2 kat Far East jap pas tu duduk McCafe all the way sampai kol 9. Haiiyyyooohhhh......8 more days to Valentines, still counting. Valentines alone again dis yr i presume. Haaaaaaiiiizzzz.........

2005-02-03T01:45:00.000+08:00

Penat!!! Adduuuhh!! Penat sekali!! These past few days school have just been tiring ah. And im always late for school. end up taking cab all the time. Like dis morning, i woke up at 9.20 when school starts at 10. Hahaha....Haiiazz....Just now had my ICA presentation. It was ok la...i'm in sub group 3...i didnt contribute much and i tink that our tutor wasnt very impressed wit our presentation unlike grp 1 and 2. Hah! Watever!! Then had MCG just now....it was a blast!! as usual....we didnt have practice neither did we brain storm for GPA...instead, kite main game!! At first, Haikel suggested dat each of us tink of a fictional story and act it out. Me and Fadhil suggest that we open a topic and make the story by having one person say a word and link the next person's word. It was fun..funny and totally didnt make any sense!! Ade pasal org jatuhkan pasu abe nenek die kol polis lah. Suruh apek makan kuih bangkit lah. Pasal mat rep la. Hahaha..kelaka2. Den we decide to have a game of charade!!! Melayu stail. Pakai all these peribahasa and kata bunga. We were divided into 2 groups. It was really competitive. Tapi menang kalah tak dpt apape but everyone was so competitive and you wouldnt believe the things we do to find the word. Ade pasal muhammad sultan to find the word 'azam'......nabi ibrahim sume termasuk. Haizz....penat2.

2005-02-01T13:09:00.000+08:00

Chant!! Rastman chant!!!........Goddamn!! This song has been playing over and over in my head. Im so blardy addicted to it. Yeap its true, 'Hip Hop La Rasta' has done this to me. Not im complaining though. Anywayz, yesterday, for the first time ever, i feel so so tired after school. Mana lah tak, school starts at 10 and end at 5.30. Only got 1 hour break. Luckily we cabut lecture so got 2 hours break. And more lucky that my stupid elective end at 5.30 instead of 7. If not die. My elective is on Introduction to Life Sciences and yesterday was the first time i go for the elective because stupidly i didnt noe the time table. Studied about cloning and DNA recombinant. Its kinda cool ah. The journey home was like the longest ever i think because i went home alone. Marni finish her elective at 7 and Wediah didnt have any elective to be done at school. Reached home. Wanted to take a bath but end up sleeping in the toilet for an hour. Haha.... Until my contact lens was soo dry it got stuck to my pupils. Luckily can still take out.
Today was a bit late for school again. Too tired,sleepy adn lazy to wake up. Hahaha....Will be working later..Haizz...Its been a week since i work. Hmm i wonder how the new manager is... *ponders*

2005-01-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

I am so sick of feeling depressed and crying everyday. Its only January of 2005. 11 more months to go!! How much hell do i have to go through?!?! I really cannot take it anymore. Haiz...kene maki berbakul2 dengan datuk aku. Die ungkit sumer....ungkit!!! Benci!! He is not going to tanggung me anymore. That's it! That's the end. Eventually i will have to quit school. Nobody to pay for my fare. Nobody to pay for my school fees. No money to buy school books. Just great. It's no use living in this house anymore. It is just a roof over my head.Nothing more, nothing less. There is not even any love,kindness and understanding in this house anymore. So what is the use of living here? Might as well i stay elsewhere. It will still be the same. Just a roof over my head. No love. No kindness. Nobody to understand me and i dont have to understand anyone. If this persist, i will have to move out. Eventually quit school unless by any chance i can get a bond. Might as well i spend the rest of my life with Pastamania. To hell with nursing as a stable courier. And no way i am going to back my mum....NO way!! Nohting is going right for me. I'm plunging from 1 problem to another. Every inch of the way. Nothing seems to be going the way i want it to be. Lonely, problems, family problems, school problems, money problems, problems, problems, PROBLEMS!!!!! Aaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!! I wanna just go and die. Malaikat maut, cabutlah nyawaku. Kerna hidupku di dunia ini sudah lagi tidak bermakna.

2005-01-30T01:59:00.000+08:00

WHoaa....back to back action...The 'Hip Hop La Rasta' thing at NYP was great!!! It was phat man....Da bomb!! Hahaha....It was from 6 to 10. There was a break battle competition and dance session...So mcm mini club ah gitu. The breakdancers were great, the music we danced to was great also!! But it was blardy fucking hop and everybody was dancing,grinding and not to mention, sweating!! There was this boy who danced with Dinah and Yati (my 2 frens frm NP), Wediah and Marni. Of coz he didnt dance wit me arh..sape nak joget ngan pompan gemok kanz? But he was short anwyayz....And he was grinding and touching them...Eeee....gross....Not appealing at all. Chyma was a great reggae dancer.
Today was the MCG bbq thing. It was great also. Lost of fun. Tapi sayang takde radio. Aku, raqiah, aishah and Wawa swam together. Then there was this thing pasal coli hitam la, coli stripe la...hahaha....and there was this stupid fish who kept jumping around at us. Ikan die kecik sekali tetapi ligat. We were all screaming and paranoid. Hahaha....It was fun ah.....

2005-01-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

Well it has been donkey years since I update my blog. Sorilah, have been busy and furthermore my brother is back from Chicago and he is staying temporarily at my house, so i cant blog at home. Coz later he read all my stuff ah, whoaa...not dat safe anymore. But anyway, its quite fun having him around the house. At least i got someone to talk to. But anyway, my bro brought me back a digicam!! It's a U.S made brand ah, 2 mega pixels, digital zoom but nonetheless its useful and so blardy clear especially after uploading it on the computer. As said, i am not working for the whole of this week. But still, i really dont feel like going home coz of you know who. Yesterday after school, i went to town and then lepak at Esplanade with Bhavani and Dinah. As usual, it was very sad and a little depressing to be going to Esplanade when you are single. Haaiizz..... Well i reached home at 10. That stoopid bitchy aunt of mine started nagging ah. She ask what time i finish sch. i said 7 (total lie) and then i told them i went out to help shopping for MCG bbq (another lie). Then she started nagging again saying and asking how many thousand of bbq i wanna go to. In malay -> "Berapa banyak bbq kau nak pergi hah?! Hari tu bbq, besok bbq? Kau lemak eh!!".........yada..yada..yada...BITCH!!! Well i cant help it if i have a social life. Maybe she is just jealous. Watever!!! Then she said again "Besok kalau kau balik lambat, kau jaga!"...........Oooooo....i am sooooo scared....NOT!! Duh of coz i going home late today. Got gig at school man, well sort of gig ah. Viva La Rasta !!! Woohooo......im so psyched about it. But im sure of 1 person who wont be coming....WaK
....hahaha....Dunno lah why i bring him up but i think coz of the reason that he only listen to Black/Heavy Metal. Haiizz...Oh ya my so called ex, Dicky, it was true that he is married. I managed to get hold of him that day and i asked him about it. So sickening, so depressing, so heart breaking.Haaaiiiizzzzzzzzz....Today will be a long day of school but then looking forward for the gig and tomorrow will be another long day for the bbq. But i cant wait!!! =)

Runaway Groom??

2005-01-24T14:32:00.000+08:00

The events that took place this weekend have been great,exciting,shocking and tiring.
Firstly on Saturday, made my way tp NYP with Mardiana and Bhavani and meet up wih asran's sis, Belle later coz they want to visit NYP's house. Da sampai kat Atrium, we had to wait donkey years for the Silat performance. Dah tu tekalah sape ade kat situ?? It was my ex. I think he knows the silat people and his gf is from SHS. Whatever....Then went to MCG booth pas tu main capteh ngan Faisal,Farhana,Fadhil (wah sume 'F' nmpk), Hafiz, Rafi ngan Belle. It was a whole lotta fun. 1st time aku main capteh. Then kelakar lah cause i come up with different, funny and awkward position nak anu tu capteh. With my boobs la, pantat la..abe ade satu kali it got stuck between my pelvic region. Hahahahah....Blardy funny sak!! Walau main sekejap, aku dah berpeluh mcm org gile. Kalah lari 2.4km. Hehehehe....So after cleaning up, me,mardiana,bhavani and belle head up to town. We reached Far East plaza and head to Taman Ros for lunch. Then meet up with Dinah and Faizal. We walk2 den stopped at Ngee Ann city to watch the Singapore Soccer players like giving the cup to PM Lee Hsien Long. I was blardy excited and screaming my head off for ppl like Aide Iskandar, Indra Sahdan and Alam Shah look so blardy fucking cute!!! But the other girls were mostly cheering for Baihakki. Oklah, tapi kebanyakkan of them muke mat rep ah. Oh ya, Fandi pon ader. He looked old. Kwang kwang kwang.....
Da penat, kite borong Old Chang Kee(maklumlah da halal) den gi McCafe at Shaw House. Sat down to drink and eat and met abg sedara Dinah, Mazlan. So cute, tapi pendek. Hehehe...
So that's about all that happened on Saturday. As for Sunday, i was working full shift. Thank god that stupid manager takder. My fav manager yg kerje. I got to do cashier for the whole day.It wasn't that nice as i thought it would be. I was major confused and made some mistakes. After it finish all, my brain was so tired and dry i can really feel it literally siak. Anyway you guys remembered my ex from my workplace? Yg nama die Dicky tu. Yah so now he officially dah mati keras ah. I dont even know whether he is my bf or not. I regard myself as single. He is like M.I.A ah...Tak dengar berita langsung. Then yesterday at my workplace the people there were like so nice. They ask me, how am i and after that of coz they asked how was 'HE'. I said i dunno coz he is like missing, no news, never call and stuff. Then they started telling me that 'He' told them before that he was MARRIED!!!! He said they live separate houses coz it was a forced marriage and the "wife" earned like 4-5k a month. WTF??!!?!?! Serious or wat??? I really dont know what or who to believe in. It really got me thinking. Whether he is really married or not? Why his sister didnt mention anything? Whether what he has been saying to me all this while were all lies? Haiizz.....so many questions, yet no answers.......

Arguments.Death.Angst.

2005-01-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

Finally the hassle of Hari Raya Haji is over. BEcause of this damn blardy stupid occasion, now my life juz took a sharp turn and its heading for its worst. Like i said in my previous posts, that i have only been spending time on myself and work right? These people at home says that i have been neglecting my duties at home and they suspect that i was lying and stuff. SO they go and complain to my mom. If that wasnt bad enough that they complain, they exaggerate, like they always do. Then my mom scold me ah. Maki aku berbakul bakul sak. It was very hurtful ah. I mean it's not that as if i purposely doing this. There is a reason la. Benci sak!! Nag nag nag, den kene threaten and all that shit. WTF sia!!! Wat kind of mum is dat. She keep saying, "org marah tu tandanya org masih sayangkang siti. Kite taknak siti nanti da jatuh baru nak cari kite org. kan da susah nanti." Sayang my foot lah!! Haizz.....They ask me to change..yeah right. How the hell am i suppose to change if the situation itself wouldnt wanna change for me to suit myself?? Haizz....this is just very bad ah. I'm giving up on all hopes ah. Only time can tell.

So enough of this, last wednesday, after the NYP Open House, we had MCG audition ah. Aku dah bersemangat ah. Then i really gave it my best shot ah and then the results came out. I was in but then i got position 'Reserve'. Honestly, i was a bit disappointed and i had already made a promise to myself. the promise is that if i don't get in, im backing out because i think that i am not puisi-ly inclined. I sucked at these abstract things ah. Drama at least not bad ah. But the next day, Aida told me that i am taking over Rinie because she cant make it. I feel kinda bad ah coz later nanti dorang ingat yg aku ni ngada2 or something ah. Seriously i am not. So guys, im really sorry eh and i hope u guys dont get me wrong.

2005-01-17T11:22:00.000+08:00

I have no live anymore!!! I'm so so dead. Haizz...... Nowadays my focus is only on working. I don't revise my work, i don't spend with anyone. All i do is work,work,work until i tire myself and be late for school....as usual. Sigh.....My social life is gone. Well i don't mean to shun away from society but i guess $$$ is everything man. I got bills to pay, need to save up for a digicam and all. Still recovering emotionally for being single. Yelaa......dpt matair yg mati keras buat aper kan?!?! Such a jackass he is. Haaaiizzzz..........While typing this, im actually feeling very very tired because yesterday and saturday i have been working full shift at work. And its even worse that both the days i had to work as food runner(waitressing & clearing of tables). Usually if work full shift either morning you do food runner and evening you do cashier or vice versa. Ni tak....ni sume gara2 manager aku yg mcm cheebyess!! Benci sak!!! Dahi cap nonok. Die kasi org yg BARU, yg datang LAMBAT, buat cashier. The reason? Die ckp i may not be fast enough. Eh please lah!!! Trainee are not supposed to handle cashier on weekends. That's what i hav eto go through als during training ok!!! Cheebyeess!!! I only took out my training badge after 3 months of working. Yang lain, tak sampai berapa minggu da bukak. Perangai mcm gitu pon di favour kan. No more such things as democracy at Pastamania. Fuck! I guess after next week, i'm going to take a break from work. Except, i wanna work on public holidays coz u earn more.

2005-01-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

So so shagged. Haiz..... Had class at 10 am. Late....AGAIN!!! As usual...Hahaha...When me, marni and wediah meet up at Bt Batok MRT, it was already 9.50..So no choice, had to skip lecture and have our attendance dropped coz we didnt pass our admin card the day before. Geez....Had breakfast at 'Kopi Roti' at Westmall. Then head to school. Had lessons as usual. Trying hard to concentrate during Bioscience lecture. Ok, ok la..
A funny thing happened in the toilet. Me and Marni were wearing boyshorts underwear today. So we wanted to show Wediah wat it looks like coz she dunno. I was wearing a skirt so i showed mine, a bit only lah!! Marni was wearing jeans so she pulled down her jeans at the back....AND not only her jeans that she pulled, she pulled her.................the rest you know what happened ;)
Hahahahah....I was roaring with laughter while coughing at the same time. So painful. Hahahahah!!! Shit happens right Marni? Yesterday my shit happened. Today is hers. I wonder when is Wediah's. But anywayz, finish tutorial at 5 and skipped the last lecture. Went to Causeway Point cause my fren, Bhavani wanted to look for pants. Upon reaching, i made my way to Pastamania, to check my schedule. Then my colleagues were like "hey you came late ah. he go home already".......yah, DAT 'he'......i was like "who cares?? i didnt come here to see him" Sigh.....Well since Bhavani is attached, she is working on losing her weight, which is good. So when i got home, i spent 35 mins in the toilet. Doing what?? Listening to my discman and dancing as a form of exercise. Hahahahahah!!!! I noe, i noe, dat is MOST absurd thing you guys have ever heard right? Hehehehe....Well i tink i cant be bullimic(or however u spell it) cause my gag reflex is very good. I juz shove my finger down my throat a bit, i gagged like there is no tomorrow...Haiizz...What am i to do????????????????????

2005-01-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

So much for being attached for 5 days. We like sort of broke up this morning between 2am-3am.Haizz.....He asked for it, dont ask me why. Honestly the problem is with him, not me. It was so sudden. So now....i'm not even sure of myself. See, like i said, it has always never meant to be. My life is fated to be a spinster and grow old and die alone. Heez....Can't wait.
Well enough of this, school was kinda boring but a little interesting in the 1st place. Was a little late for our 1st lesson which is Clinical Lab. Took the train and stopped at Yishun. Took cab. Hehehe....After that, we had a 2 hour break, so me, wediah and marni went to Causeway Point to eat KFC. Kite sume mengidam sey. Haizz...also i went to Causeway for a purpose. But the purpose was in vain. Anyway, after eating we quickly head back to school cause we had Bioscience Practical lessons at 4. Well we had practicals on the respiratory system. Lost!! Lost!! Lost!! Super lost!! Couldn't understand a damn thing!! But then we had a little "field trip" to this one room where they keep preserved, REAL HUMAN bodies. Ahhh!!!! Eeeee!! So there were the preversed lungs, preserved brains, preserved arms, preserved half bodies etc. etc. Gross!!!!! But its nice that we ended class an hour earlier. So had no plans and we all head to Wediah's house. Just laze around, listening to songs in her Pc. So like me n marni are like hip hop and reggaeton freaks so i got up and wanted to dance and asked wediah along and in hope that she respons "tak nak laa...malu lah..." ....so i can juz dragged her along. BUT, Jeng3!!! She got up and started dancing with us!!! We were so SHOCKED!!!!!! Me n marni were so excited. Hahah~ coz its like a side of wediah u dont get 2 see everyday.Oh ya..and also before naik rumah wediah. ternampak motor abg dier ah. The Honda one. I only noe its the Honda one ah..400cc or sumthing...Blardy nice!!!! So i badly wanted to try to ride it so i raised my legs ah to sit on it skali i misjudged the bike and didn't raise my leg high enough, so my leg hit the bike...Paiseh bodoh!!!!Period.

2005-01-11T10:56:00.000+08:00

I'm at the e-plaza right now, after skipping lectures....again!!You know what? I'm just plain lost at the moment because these past few days have been skipping lectures. Pergi skola stakat jumpe kawan pas tu skip lecture, klua. Hahahhaha...man, i'm soo soo guilty. Nari pagi lagi sial. Got tutorial at 8, means cannot skip ah coz attendance is taken manually. Semangat tau, ingat nak bangun 5.45 am, pack beg, cari baju aper nak pakai, mandi sumer ah. Da siap taruk alarm kat hp. Bila alarm bunyi, aku dengar, tapi aku buat bodoh. Hahah~! Last2, tgk jam dah 6.37!!! Haiyoh, aku ingatkan akan lambat lagi. FAst game ah bangun, mandi sumer, den i had a mid-life crisis coz i dunno wat to wear and there is nothing to wear also. Finally about 7.05 like dat i leave the house ah coz suppose to be meeting Marni and Wediah at MRT station. Den skali, wediah kol, die ckp bpk marni nak hantar...Arrrgggghhh!!!!!!! You could have tell sooner ah!!!!! Anyway, i made my way back to my doorstep, nasib baik baru kat corridor. Den tgh duduk2, makcik aku bangun. She asked me wat time i finish school ah, i say 9.30pm even though i end at 2pm. Hahah~ Biaserlah, da attached, mesti rebel nyer!! Then she started nagging ah.....nag..nag..nag... BITCH!!! She is JUST and aunt ah...NOT even a guardian. She has no rights man, she has no say!! Blardy bitch she is ah..menyusahkan ajer, da la menumpang kat rumah orang, buat hal penumpang lah bodoh!!!! Eeehhhh!!! GERAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGST man!! ANGST!!!!!
Also, bpk marni datang lambat. So we reached school about 8.05 like that ah. Still got time ah....tapi suey2!!! We couldnt enter the doors to the tutorial room because it needs access by tapping your admin card. Den ALL our admin cards is with another friend!! So we found ourselves trapped!! Nowhere to go, even the stairs stopped at 3rd storey. Then luckily got these students who exit the rooms and the door didnt shut so we managed to enter. But by then, it was already too late ah so we had no choice but get marked absent. Haaaiizzz.....so so so sickening. Going for a 2 hour Bioscience lecture later.......going!!! i swear!!!!
Kesian sey aku dapat matair yg mati keras....Susah..susah...but its nice.....besides the mati keras part. ok....Period.

2005-01-08T01:22:00.000+08:00

Whoaaa......all the things dat has happened these past few days were weird,unexpected but indeed lovely and nice. Actually there is this one guy at my workplace who likes me ah....Weird but true. So you noe the rest wat happens la...But im NOT attached yet k... So sape2 yg suka kat aku tu, cpat2 laa admit eh sebelom melepas...Hahahahhaahah!!!! Perasannyer aku!!!
But anyway, smalam 6/1/05, aku attend bbq ah. Pastmania punyer. So almost everybody was there lah. From cooks to service crew. I both want to and dont want to attend the bbq. The reason?? Simple...because, i still cant fit into the clan ah. Like i feel like im an outcast. Yelah...dorang sumer main game ke hape mane ajak aku sumer. Then got dis incident ah, me n 3 other girls were standing together den yg budak lelaki yg aku tak suke came to us and say "hey there you 3 beautiful ladies"..... Yelah!!!!! 3 je per!!!! Then the girl standing beside me, was like "eh den..".....she pointed at me den looking at dat guy but he was busy talking to the other girls ah...den i say "its ok laa...i noe i not pretty" Haiyooh....so den DAT guy frm my workplace, call him D la eh, came lah after he finish work. We took the opportunity to walk,talk and hold hands....Hehehe...so nice~! den time aku nak balik, the rest were making a hoo-hah abt him sending me home. Balik naik Vespa....sejuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine la, kol 2 pagi, speeding thru the highway wit the wind. But it was nice....da LAAAMMMMAAAA tak naik motor.
As expected, da balik kol 3 pagi sumer, nampak sa tak leh bangun nak gi skolah kan. Luckily i gave my lanyard to Marni already, so basically i skipped all the lectures in the morning. Came to skool at 2 coz got tutorial at 3 and a lecture at 5. Went for tutorial, tapi cabut lecture lagik!! hahahahahah!!! ape lah nak jadi ngan aku, skola bukak baru 5 hari da cabut2 lecture. Den da cabut lecture gi Causeway Point la..nak bagi work schedule for next week. Den after that went to Tekka Mall sebab nak ikot Bhavani jumpe matair dier. So so sweet. It was the 1st time they met ah. Then they were so so sweet. I'm so happy for them. Si Bhavani ni pon ader mcm tembam2 sikit. So it makes me kinda happy and proud ah that 2005 seems like a year for ppl like US to be attached. Kawan aku yg mcm Mardiana, Wediah sume masih single....So its kinda nice ah to be an envy.No offence k guys? I'll help you look for one.

2005-01-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

1st day of 2nd semester!!!! yeay!! finally back in school!!! Could feel the adrenaline rush ah and my 1st lecture was BioScience. I had to pinch myself to believe that i'm actually back at school and attending lectures. There, in the ever so lovely and comfortable LTK-2 were the familiar faces of everyone. Faces we love to see, faces that we hate, faces that we wanna see but cant and faces that we dun wanna see but it was shoved in front of us. Overall skool was ok ah today, like cute n hensem guys start to appear out of nowhere tau. Like suddenly they are flocking the McDonald's canteen. Im not complaining though. Hahah...ENd school at 2...que up 2 buy manual. It didnt took us long. So after that Marneex followed me to Causeway Point. Accompany me until 4 coz i was working. MArni was soo thankful to my colleague Gilbert coz he gave her a drink. Hahahhaah...it was funny ar~! Work was ok...but shortage of manpower...and halfway through work, i wasnt feeling too well.... Rasa mcm nak muntah but i didnt dare to. Saw Woam Yuan (old classmate) at PastaMania. Work was just tiring..but above all..weird. Weird i tell u!! WEIRD!!!! Arrrgghhh!!!!! And today im rather pissed coz like i receive a lot of msges n fonecalls frm unfamiliar no. When i call them back, they never pick up. When i sms them asking who they r, they never reply. When they call, i pick up, then they hang up. Wahlau!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

Aku tgk recently aku and a few other people jek yg rajin update blog dan tulis panjang2. Well today, i'm gonna have another long entry. So brace yerself.
First up, S'pore vs. Myanmar.....s'pore played like crap!!!! They all look soo soo lethargic and lazy to run after the ball. Myanmar on the other hand are 24/7 rough. Shoving,elbowing,nudging all the way, all the time. I mean, the players have this thing against spacing out which in the end, bila bola ditendang, den there will be no one there to receive the ball. Players also got habit of kicking the ball to nowhere. Worst still, tgh baik2 dribble bola, pas tu leh terlepas...dah opponent team dpt bola. Haiyooh....Wat in the world is this man? Abe aku tgk ade satu s'pore player...mat salleh..lupe ah nama dier, die tgh dribble bola abe went to the side line. aku rasa die ngah tutop mata arr..coz i guess when he "opened" up his eyes. die cari2 bola tu. Padahal bola tu kat kelengkang die siowz!!!! Yg player paling merepek skali, Casmir a.k.a Sri Lang. Diek ni lagi merepek. Tendang bola mcm org yg kaki bangku...da tu, ade habit tendang bola ke atas. Bukan nak kasi mereng ke atau ke depan tau!! ni tak..keatas. Crap! The myanmars are really rough ar..also got attitude problems. If not for their attitude problems, maybe they could have won. Thanx to them,xtra time,and Alam Sha that S'pore won. Luckily the last goal by Sri Lang masuk walaupon die tendang bola tu ke atas. Myanmar tak leh kene sikit. Kene jek nak mengamok, tapi dorang anu s'pore players bole! attitude really sux. Then near to the ending, yg Subramani is it kene lempar ngan botol. Ksian sak!!!! That reserved goalie should be banned...Dah tu..walk out of the stadium shoving his lower 1/2 of his body implying what? "suck my dick?"..Haiiz...mepek tak layan btol laa.. Anyway, enough of soccer.
I went out today to town wit Wediah n Nadiah. Went to Bugis, i bought jeans. But actually my main aim was to find some nice tops. and there were none!!!! I mean takde yg really interesting and nice. Even if have, den no size. Haaaiiizzzz........Crash diet here i come man. Anyway kan..saw a few celebrities. 1st we saw Aaron Aziz. He was at Cosi Cafe. Then bile kite nmpk die, teperanjat berok dan terpegun oleh ke-hensem-an dier. Den when we past him, we looked at him ah and we can see that from the corner of his eyes, he was looking at us. Hahaha...kembang lah dier sebab kite sangkakan die hensem. Then nmpk Mikhail n Gf wit Dalina n tunang. Mikhail has put on weight but he still looks cute coz he has a goatee. Heeeheee...Tapi matair die peh burok!! KEs yg gelap, tapi rambut blonde, abe jendol. Jalan nak step pantat jet and proud to be Mikhail's gf lah tu. Dalina pendek and looks horrible outside. N tunang dier looks worse. He wore shorts and t-shirts to town!!! Burok siowz!!! Well after all that walking, we were so so so exhausted. We sat at McCafe...again. I had a large Double Chocolate...again. I ate chunky chix..again. I tried the Hazelnut Crunch cake. It taste horrible. I also had Aunt Annie's Pretzels, but den it was blardy salty!! Got my tongue tingling. I really stuff my face with food today. But who cares. Im crash dieting tomorrow. Speaking about tomorrow, school is open..finally!! Have a mixed feeling of excitedness and laziness to go back to school. But hope semester 2 will be a better semester.

2005-01-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm blardy sick,exhausted,sleepy and freezing cold!!!!! This is all due to the aftermath of tsunami. It has been raining non-stop which spoils the overrnight thingy at ECP yesterday. Well the outing was freakingly LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The LO(lame outing) was like super lame ok!! We reached ECP at around 7.30 pm like that. If that wasn't bad enough, it was raining and worst, it was SO SO SO SO SO far away from civilization!!!!!!!! We were at Area F when all the fun is at Area C, near Marine Cove there. Thank god i was with my best friend Mar. I asked her to tag along. After we unpacked the stuff, we hitched a ride from my cousin to Marine Cove. Met Wak coz his family also having picnic but the next day. So sat with him for an hour plus. We talked and talked and talked. It was fun until i got a call to go back to UNcivilization. Hmph!! Anyway stop by McCafe coz so addicted to it already. We tried the Choc Mint Frappe. Oooooooohhhh!!!!! NICE!!!! So blardy sinful!! i love peppermint!! Anyway when we got back, the whole shelter was occupied so we teenagers got no space for ourselves. No one wanted to set up the tent. My cousin(a guy) says "u want to sleep in ur tent? make it urself. i dun wanna have to do anything wit it. u make it urself....sleep urself..do evrything urself".....I was like "ok fine..wats up wit the arrogance?"...In the morning, after we woke up, guess who slept in the tent?? Go figure man.It was quite fun ah setting up the tent wit Mar. During the setting up, without realisation it was already 2005. We couldn't see fireworks ah but we could see flares. Weird...Maybe sailors also wan 2 celebrate...Heh. So after the tent was all nice and set up, we settled our asses in ah. I felt a sense of satisfaction coz it was my first time. Also i would like to take this opportunity to thank Md Haikal Abqari for teaching us the selok belok memasang tent and i wanna salute him for single handedly set up the tent during July 2004. *Tabik tuan!!*
Hahah...While i was in the tent, i could hear sounds of aeroplanes, there were strong wind and the waves violently crashing on the sands. Which got me thinking"What if another tsunami is to happen right here and right now? What if i die? That will be so sudden and dat will be the end man" I shudder thinking about it but then shook the feeling off ah.Woke up in the morning and i badly needed to pee!! Had to walk all the other way to the toilet. The morning breeze was nice but kinda cold. But me n Mar sat at the waterbreaker. It was nice coz we reminisce all the good and bad times that had happened in 2004 at ECP. Straight after breakfast, Me, Mar and 4 nieces, aged 14,13,13 and 8 respectively took a plunge into the shivering water though it was drizzling and sometimes broke out in a heavy rain. And the incident that happened after the swim was just devastating ah. Bummer man...wanna noe what happen? Please feel free to approach me. Anyway went to McCafe again, but this time i was actually sending the lil kiddies to find a bicycle kiosk to rent a bike. We reached one nearby our place but then the guy says we are wet. Bullshit man!! So we walked all the way to Costa Sands resort and after the kiddies left, Me n Mar walked all the way Marine Cove. So in total we covered about 6km on foot!! Wahlau!!!!!!!! Tiring man...But it was worth it coz Farhan was at McCafe. I ordered a large Double Chocolate Frappe and a Chix Sandwich. He only charged me for the sandwich and even gave two cups of the Frappe with extra whip and choc sauce!! Yummy!!!! Thanx Farhan!!! It got me thinking that nearly almost everyone working in MCG is under F&B. Rafi is at Famous Amos. Farhan is at McCafe. Heikal is an operator for KFC. Rinie used to work at a hotel banquet, adeq work as Cosi Cafe or watever the name is...and as for me, im at PastaMania. So Rafi and Farhan, i'll treat u guys nxt time ya~. You guys know what, i think 2004 ended quite well. Know why? Coz yesterday while waiting for crappy and late people to come pick us up to ECP, me and mar went to McDonald's at the Bt Batok East CC there. I was eating when i looked up and saw someone so so so familiar. It was TAUFIK BATISAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was no suprise ah coz he work at the NPC near there. We wanted to take a pic wit him... "Taufik leh ambik gambar tak?" Den he say "Sorry la, but then i on duty. Tak leh ambik gambar. Sorry eh" and then he gave an ever so cute smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We could just go crazy ahh!!!! Really drove us crazy..... Hmmm....such a wonder dat a lazy town like Bt Batok can be so exciting. =)

2004-12-31T13:59:00.000+08:00

It's 2pm on New Year's Eve. And what am i doing?? Blogging!! How lame can it get. I'm suppose to have a family outing at the beach. But my cousin is working late so we have to wait for him to pick up stuffs from our house then we can go. Some more, this outing is soo damn blardy fucking lame. It's pissing me off!! I mean they wanna go to beach and have a bbq WITHOUT booking a pit!! Wat the fuck sia????? Then they xpect to grill the food where??? On top of my head arr??? They think they can just go there, look for an empty space and settle down. It's so not going to be easy ok!! New Year's Eve ah today!! What is going through their stupid mind??!?!?! I asked the reason why never book the pit, they say eveybody was too lazy. WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK!?!?!?!??!!??!!!? I would have volunteered myself to go book the pit man!!! For convenience...Haiyoh lame ah these people!!!!! Enough about this shit. Tomorrow will be the start of a new year. Which means 2004 will be left behind. I will grow a year older. I'm happy that 2004 is leaving but also sad at the same time. Coz both good and bad things has happened in 2004. But i think there were more bad things that happened than good ones. So ya, 2004 was a really really bad year for me. The best days of 2004 was 11/12/2004-14/12/2004. That was the four days i had the MCG camp including the production itself. These was the best 4 days ever in my life and in 2004. MCG has work wonders,miracles and also disasters for almost everyone. So i'm really looking forward to 2005, hoping that it would be a better and brighter year. Teenage years are really one of the toughest years of my life i guess. Sigh....

2004-12-31T01:16:00.000+08:00

Blardy exhausted!!! Went out at 2pm just now to meet Wediah. I went to my workplace first coz we had this gift exchange thingy for X'Mas. It was kinda lame ah. Janji kol 3. But ended up exchanging gifts at 5.15!! Wahlau!! Aku da janji Mar kat Bugis at 5.45. But at Causeway, met up wit Marni and Qai. It was kinda cool ah coz we talked about stuffs. You know..."stuffs"..Hahah...But it was very nice ah. We sat and eat.As usual, aku star karat. Reached Bugis at around 6.15 like that. Walked around a bit, kinda aimlessly.Mine and Wediah's aim for today was to find a nice trucker cap. So kat Bugis takde and we went to Far East Plaza. At Far East also dun have. Actually have ah but then like nothing very eye catching. So i suggest go Pacific Plaze. Went to Ripcurl and saw some very very very nice Volcom caps. But then the $$ also very nice. Can't afford ah at the moment. Went to Roxy den got nice caps. Affordable also. But then we didn't buy...Why?? Because we dont wanna be labelled as "Minah Roxy"..Hate it!!! This is all because of these stupid minah reps ah!! I HATE U MINAH REPS!!!! But not to worry, i will get it once i get my salary. And also i had my eyes set on this coat at Dorothy Perkins. $69. Better than at G2000. It costs $89 but then no size. Jackass!! After all the tiring walking and window shopping, we settled our asses at Lido's McCafe. We tried the Double Chocolate Frappe...NICE!!!!!! I would recommend it to chocoholics. Very sinful man. Oh ya, talking about chocolates and sins, i would like to take this opportunity to list down my resolutions and wishes for this new year...well i noe its kinda early...But hey! No harm rite??

2005 Resolutions/Wishes:
Lose weight (yes..u guessed it..this has been my resolution yr afyter yr after yr. But insyallah dis yr it will happen)
Losing weight by crash diet (this will commence on 3/1/05..im not kidding)
Losing weight by being bullimic or anorexic(im not kidding on dis either)
Find my long lost father
Learn to love my course, attachments and elective on 'Introduction to Life Sciences'
Learn how to save $$ more effectively
Get a Digicam
Find a nice BF(hahah...dis is SOOOOOOOOOO impossible)
Visit my mom at Chicago

Well that's about all i can think of at the moment.

2004-12-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Blardy tired ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today went to work coz i had to replace someone. Then luckily keje cashier ah. Keje cashier memang tak penat. Tapi juz now my manager assigned me to clean up dis fridge ah. So i had to take EVERYTHING out, including the racks and wipe that damn place. So bnyk menonggeng dan membongkok. That was wat that got me so so exhausted. Haiz....and suey2, my hp got no battery and nobody at my work place brought their charger~!!! aarrggghh!!!! time2 aku nak pakai, takder. Time2 aku taknak pakai ade pulak tu.....End work at 5 and waited for Mardiana. I juz dun feel like going home..as always~! Went to Bishan for a while to meet Bhavani and her guy friend then went back Bukit Batok to eat. Bought this sandal at Noda ah...for sch...Hate sch man coz have to hear a sandal with a strap at the back....Why Noda? Because Noda have my size. heheheh~ Recently kan, i have been so constipated. I cant shit. And i hate it when that happens. My stomach will feel so bloated and hard. So when i got home, helped myself to bananas. Dunno whether it will work or not. So now, im juz waitin for the moment................ Basically today was almost a boring day. Ptui~!

2004-12-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

EVERYTHING that has happened these past few days has been totally wonderful,great,magical,
spectacular, and other relating adjectives in between. Haha~
Went out wit wak yesterday, kite gi town, jln2,gi suntec...had Aunt Annie's Pretzels and finally landed at Esplanade. We talked about almost everything from under the sun. Enjoyed myself ah.
Today i met him again. Treat him to Delifrance ah because later he go NS already then takut kempunan. Hehehehe....Then jln2 kat Westmall jap den balik lah coz i gotta get ready for work.
Work sux big time today. Except for the fact im working with nice people like Lili,Gina and Zul. So long already never work with them. Anyway Lili, if you remember she was the girl i met at town wit her bf dat day, she told me that her bf said im pretty. Hahahhahaahha!!!! I cant believe it ah! I mean its the funniest, most awkward thing i've heard. Furthermore, her bf is gd lookin and all you know....Haha~ Must be the contact lenses i say. But then she told me dat there was something baby-ish about my eyes...Well sounds funny, but i think i like way it sounds. "Baby-ish" Haha~! Well wat was sickening about work that there was A LOT of people coming for dinner crowd. I mean non-stop sey. Our last order is at 10 pm but people are still in que at 9.45 like that. HaiyoH~!! Then when we were officially closed, there were still people eating ah. Then got this order come out for a customer. It was a pasta then got peas in it. Then the customer so blardy fussy. She said "Excuse me, i ordered with no peas" Then my colleague went to the kitchen and told the chef ah. Then he shouted "Haiyah!! Take it out yourself laah jackass!!" Hahahhaah..it was so funny!!! But of coz the customer didnt hear it ah. Everybody is like so cranky today. Everyone was like in a bad mood expecially a chef. And you know sometimes when you are soo angry that a moment later you turn a bit nuts and crazy. That's what happened. We were all so cranky then suddenly everyone turned crazy...Hahah~!! Brought a lot of food home...Yum~ and also these past few days i've been stuffing myself with food. Not its anything unusual or something but really stuffing ah. Haiz~....so basically i will get fatter fatter and fatter until got no space and i will blow up and die. Hah~!

2004-12-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

Wondering who are those people in the picture? Haha...For your info, that is my step dad, my brother and my mother. They are in Chicago. What am i still doing here? I dunno....Haiz....im soo tired. Today 8.30 da bangun. Kenapa siang sangat?? Sebab aku nak terkencing. Hahah~ sebab itulah kene bangun gi toilet. Dah tu, kene paksa gi pasar...stakat nak beli cili jek. Ya allah...buat aku darah up sakk!!! I mean....pagi2 buta suruh aku gi pasar. Aku da lah tak suke gi pasar tu. Sebab jauh, abe aku ngantok n aku tak suke berpeluh. Hahah~....tapi aku ksian sebab nanti takde cili nak masak lauk. So terpaksa lah aku gi jugak. Well after that, near to noon, i got ready to go out again wit my fren. Yah juz the 2 of us. Boring..... We went to Jurong Point then to Causeway Point n den lastly to my old workplace at Buona Vista. Tempat kerje lama aku ni makin lama aku tengok makin mendak sak. The ambience is not comfortable anymore. Mcm..gelap gituk. Maklumlah budget, nak save $$ on electricity. But it was nice coz i get to meet all my old frens. Sat down n chit chatted. Basically, that's all i did for today. Nothing much interesting. Oh ya, nowadays i read blogs n stuff or meet frens, the topic we will be talking about is license. I really want to take a motorbike license. That's no problem for me ah coz i can take it silently. But now it sux ah coz we all have to start from Class 2A first right?? Last time can straightaway start from 2B right? Now kene pass the stoopid motor kapchai first den baru boleh take the bigger bike. Haaiizz.....n of coz, i also wan 2 take driving license. Last time i heard that once u 18 already can start taking theory right? Now must wait 21 ah? I dunno~!!!!! Im SO SO SO confused!!! I also dunno where to look for answers....Haaizz.................................

2004-12-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

I was rotting on Sunday and Monday!!!!! I really had nothing to do at all. Woke up at 1.30 pm in the afternoon and waste the time away online. That's all I do. Sigh..i swear my butt is gonna get bigger. But at least yesterday wasnt too bad. I had a very very nice dream. The story goes a lil something like this: I was at Jurong Point( dont ask me how i landed there). You know in your dreams the place you are in doesnt really look like the place in real life but somehow you know that that place is actually THE place. Confusing isnt it? Well anywayz, suddenly my ex boyfriend was there. So we walked around a bit. Then dunno why i had to urge to pee.. alot of times!! (i didnt pee in my bed ok!!) So everytime i come out of the toilet, my ex-boyfriend will be there lah waiting for me. Then....the last time i went to the toilet in my dreams, when i came out, my ex-boyfriend wasnt there anymore. Instead, HE(the guy whom i confessed to...remember?) was there. I was blardy shocked ah. But then we just continued walking like as if we were walking together in the first place. Then we went to this one shop. We were walking closely den when we walking out of the shop, he held my hand !!! i was like OH MY GOD!!!!!! It totally felt soo soo sooo ever sooo real. Well in my dreams i thought he was going to give me a chance ah instead of rejecting me. But then reality hit me hard in the face. I suddenly woke up. (it always happens. during the best part of the dream, thats the time when you have to wake up. SHIT.) But anywayz, today wasn't as boring as the other days. Went to Jurong East for a swim. It was ok lah even though i only had my 2 niece to accompany me. There were so many bikini clad minah reps..n of coz the mat reps with tattoos all over. Then there was this tattoo clad minah rep who is pregnant!! n she is wearing a bikini!! Wahlau!! Wat is the world turning into?? N in the wave pool, there was a whole bunch of indian guys...who had no sense of direction and poor method of maneuvring their floats. They keep bumping into me. Has their legs on my face and wasnt even apologetic about it. Hmph!! Then got any tattoo clad mat rep who hit me in the head. But at least he said sorry. So i got hit, bumped and pushed in the water. It feels more like a mosh pit for me. Hahah~! Well i kinda enjoyed myself. Got home, had a thorough bath, a face spa and all. How nice....oh ya i wasted $16 on a sunblock. But it was worth it...im not burned neither am i dark. But right now, i juz love the tone of my face...like reddish tanned. Pretty~!!

2004-12-18T22:51:00.000+08:00

Today went out wit my bez buds!! Mardiana and Bhavani. We met up and decide to actually go to my old workplace. But at last didnt. So we went to town. Peh lah banyak org!!! So first bila da jejak town, kite gi mkn kat KFC. It has always been our tradition since sec sch to always eat at KFC together. Miss those times. So we did a lot of catching up with each other lives. Well basically at the moment all of us are having problems. Relationship wise. But put that aside. We did the routine of jln2 kat far east dulu before going all the way to Heeren area there. My aim today was to look for ear rings and this lipstick which i wore on the production day. I search high and low for it but cant find. Same goes for my ear rings. Finally i got it at Specialist Shopping Centre. Dekat tmpt this one big shop which sells all kinds of beauty products. Den after that, decided to give Arrafi a visit kat Famous Amos. Die bagi 200gms of my fav BUTTERSCOTCH CHIP N PECAN for just the price of 100gms. Hehheeheh!!! Klaka sey die tanye "Ye Raudha, nak biskut ape Raudha? Hehehe....It sounds funny ah coz ppl rarely call me by my full name. Thanx Rafi!! On the way, i met my Pastamania colleague, Lili and her bf. Die mcm excited gitu nmpk aku. Haha! Aku pon tak tau kenaper. Den skali bf die tegur aku. Die tanye, "Tinggal mane?" Aku terkejut sebab aku ingatkan die bukan melayu. Haha! We strike up a small conversation. Friendly guy ah. Den besides that, kite nmpk Christopher Lee yg dari S'pore Idol tu kat Heeren.Also at Heeren there was a performance by this group called VOCALUPTOUS.Die nyanyi2 x'mas carols ah but 1 of the member was HAZRUL NIZAM!!! Peh lah hensem!!! He looks younger outside. Kiwak cair aku bile die nyanyi.Banyak eh orang kite terserempak nari.Eventually kite sume pegi Esplanade to find a piece of mind ah. Sampai situ je hati aku sedih dan pilu bcoz biase lah kat esplanade kan banyak couples. Some more it was night time. So how i badly wish i had someone to share the wonderful scenery and atmosphere with me. To sit down and cuddle together. Tapi sayang, takder. Haaaiiizzzz............
On the way from Esplanade, terserempak Yana ngan matair die. YELAH!!! SUME ORG ADE MATAIR APER!! AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Da pas tu kite plan nak gi Suntec City, but we ended up at Marina Square instead. hehehe. Landed at Rastafari and bought this "chick" necklace instead of ear rings. Haha! Barang kat sana sumer so nice sey coz it was handmade. So.... handmade items, are usually made sincerely and from the heart, sebab itu lawa and it only costs $15. So quite muai ah. Hehehe....Well dats about all my journey for today.

2004-12-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

I'm still picking up the broken pieces of my heart. It will take ages to find all the broken pieces. Yet alone mend it back together. Im just ashamed!! Sooo Soooo ashamed!!! No adjectives can describe how ashamed i am. It kept me thinking. Why did i do wat i did? In the end, i myself am the one who has to suffer. Wake up!! HE doesn't give a damn about you!! Never did!! Never will!! Now i reminisce a lot. Thinking about those times. Then i will cry. Cry until my eyes are tired. My mouth is dry n my nose is blocked. So thats all i do all day. I swear this is the 1st n last time im ever going to do such things. I mean, what for do it again?? So that i can get my heart broken again?? Urrmm....NO!! I dont think so!! Haaizz....C R A P !! So it gets me thinking. Maybe it has never meant 2 b. It has never meant 4 me to find true love. It has never meant 4 me to be happy. So i guess i will just grow old n die alone. Be a spinster. Sounds like fun. Lonely. No commitment.

Is there someone out there? Someone who cares 4 me? Someone 2 be there thru the good n bad times. Is there someone who hears my cry??? Well i guess not.....

2004-12-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

Oklah! Sori aku lama MIA. Coz nothing interesting has been happening in my life right now. Recently, aku baru smalam balik dari camp. Camp aper? Aku nyer MCG camp. Coz monday was our big day. So we had a camp for so called intensive training. It was loads of fun ah dat camp. How i wish it would never end. We had a room up till tuesday 12 noon but we pushed it till night. Nobody wanted to leave. Through this production, it has brought us all closer together. Sometimes, too close. We laugh together. Cry together. Stress together. Go through shit together. But eventually, it was worth it. The production itself was quite a success. Even though there were some cock ups here n there, it was ok. But the shittiest of all things was the audience that we got. Sume mcm mat rep gitu. Even though the serious n sad scenes, they laugh through it. But i guess we did good. Even Dr Maliki said it. Yup, he was there alright to see the whole thing. Happy that this thing is over but sad that this thing has to be over as well. We've seen each other at their lowest and highest. Egos were bruised. Lack of communication. Misunderstanding were parts n parcels of a production.
Me as an individual, everything's the same. Nothing special has happened even though i thought they were. I finally confessed everything to that 1 special person. But it was in vain. I faced rejection and forever will i bear humiliation. I swear i will never ever ever do such things again coz it will do nothing good but just to break my heart. So now that i've said it, there's no turning back. I appreciate everything that has happened between the both of us but it is a waste that it has to end like this. Thank you i say to you for giving me the best 4 days of my life. Period.

2004-12-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

Smalam kan..aku tido kol 3 pagi. Abeh nari nak bangun gi keje punye lah liat! Haizz..ngantuk btol. Jadi dah bangun tu, mandilah semua kan. Tiba2, time aku klua bilik air je, pinggang aku sakit. Kiwak!! Sakit giler sak! Da sampai tempat keje masih sakit. Keje mcm biase lah kan. Si yg mulut senget tu ngan lagi 1 aku nye colleague keje cashiering. Tu tak pasal lah, aku sorang buat luar n aku tak worry sebab ade lagi 1 akan dtg kol 12. Skali dah 12.....12.15....12.30.....die tak dtg2!!! Yelah lunch crowd aku keje sorang per!! Kiwak!! Peh makin sakit pinggang aku, mcm nak patah sak!! Finally da nak dkat kol 2 gitu rilek sikit ah... Den since nari takde MCG, aku habis keje kol 4 pas tu aku takde apape nak buat. Den takde org nak klua ngan aku. Sume bz, ade yg tak bleh, bla bla bla. Nasib baik kawan aku Nad sms aku ckp die ade kat S'pore. Kite pon klua lah. Hah! Korang teka kite gi aner? Kite gi Geylang!!!! ;) Die nak beli baju opah utk nenek dier. Aku cuba jgk ah carik barang2 vintage utk drama aku. Jumpe ni satu cermin mata olskool yg besar gedabak which covers like 1/2 ur face. Hahah! Then aku nak cari capris ah 4 the drama also. Then i fit myself into this one "3/4 tappered yg mat rep slalu pakai" nye pants. The feeling was verry funny. Aku rasa mcm ade bende yg tak kene bile pakai slua tu. Haha! Jadi aku alter lah sikit. So i guess costumes aku dah selesai. Bebual pasal MCG ni, smalam Asran take over the role of Nasir ah. Ok lah... but i guess we have a lot of bucking up 2 do. Yah and i also got to be the production nye host. It was a competiton with Marni ah coz she wants it also. But since she will be involved in more scenes, I had to do it. Kalau tak kerna tu, mesti Marni dah dpt. Btol tak Marni?? Since sec 3, i never got a chance to be an MC even though i was one of the selected ppl to go for a special MC training. So i guess now it's my chance. I will be hosting in English while my partner, Wak, will be hosting in Malay. Bagus jugak. Wak aku rasa ada lebih keMelayuan. Hehehheeh...
Ah kalau korang nak tahu kan, org2 jualan kat Geylang ni, bnyk yg kurang ajar n malas tau. Adelah ni satu kedai, aku nmpk top yg vintage. Lawa skali, i tot it would be suitable for the drama. Aku masuk lah. Skali die ade size 42 je. Kalau aku pakai pon aku rasa ngam2 ajer. Ni saleswoman dtg kat aku ah abe aku tanye die 42 largest? kau rase aku muat tak? die ckp ah die takde size lagi dan die rase jgk yg aku tak muat. Pas tu die tanye "lady boss" die 42 aku leh muat ke tak(bebual cine). Beh boss die in a rude voice ckp 42 aku tak muat.kecik sgt. If dat wasnt bad enuff, die repeat siak bnyk2 kali. Aku da mcm nak jitak je kepala die. Aku pon ckp lah loudly "yah i noe! i noe! no size! no need to say so many times la! i wont come back lah!" Dats how irritated i was.Abeh kat pasar geylang nak beli baju opah, kite tanye ni satu kedai which was duit closing ah ade tak bajunye. die ckp ader tapi die da simpan. We were like..."erh ok. obviously kau pemalas. tanak customer. so fine" Haiz...mepek lah org2 ni. Tapi yg paling aku benci nyonya tadi ah. Kiwak. Juz bcoz aku gemok doesnt mean die kene humiliate me per. Aku btol tak paham lah. Kenapa org mcm aku ni slalu dipandang hina ah? Kenapa?? Kenapa kita selalu dijadikan bahan ejekan? Kenapa all kedai baju have sizes limited 2 L or Xl je? Org yg lebih size dari tu tak layak ke nak pakai baju? Antara Kita cukup sifat jgk per. Darah kite sama merah. Antara kita yg berkemampuan. Antara kite pon cukup ajaran.Juz because physically we are different doesnt mean inside we are different u noe. Kenapa org yg kurus je dianggap "lawa". Tak kisah lah kalau muka die bnyk jerawat batu asalkan die kurus. Gitu? Tapi apa guna lawa kalau hati buruk??
Dis is just something i dun understand ah. In my opinion, fikiran asians ni sumer masih cetek. Way below mediocre. Nama je bangsa nak maju....boleh blah lah!!!

2004-12-02T01:21:00.000+08:00

Yeay! yeay!! Taufik is the 1st SINGAPORE IDOL!!! Thank god he won!! I definitely want a recount if dat "ah beng" won. Yeay!! Im soooo sooo happy!!

Well enuff of dat. Today had quite some fun ah. No MCG so i met my fren Mar at 12.30. I thought i wanna go Sim Lim Square ah tgk2 harga digicam. Skali, kite naik salah bas. Suppose to take 61, skali we take 106. We often get confused ah between these two buses. Yah, so we landed at town. Da terlanjur kat situ, i went to look for shoes ah. I wanted so much a Le Coq Sportif shoe. But i thought if cannot get dat one, i'll get a Puma one ah. Skali jalan punye jalan punye jalan. I finally decided on either a Le Coq Sportif one or a Pony one. Well thanx to An, i finally bought a Reef one. Hahahahah!! Spent $95 on dat damn shoe. It better be good, if not....
Then i was eyeing this Puma bag ah which costs $69. It was so so nice!! But luckily Mar was there to remind me abt saving money n dun splurge on branded stuff ah. So finally bought juz a normal bag ah. Quite nice. Only costs $29.90 Heheheh...
The day was almost perfect ah but the only thing that got in the way was my damn blardy painful ear!! aarrghh!! sakit!! Due to the pain, i lost like half of my brain function. Da jadi mcm sasau sak.. Selepas meradak 4 biji Panadol Extra. Baru lah kurang sikit sakit dier. Tapi brain masih sama tak leh function. Mcm budak biol. Dah lah biol, pekak plak tu...Haizz...susah,susah,susah.
Abeh tadi kan, kat Taka at Watson, terserempak Wak...lagi! Asyik terserempak die je. Hari tu terserempak kat Westmall, pas tu kat LRT abeh nari kat Taka plak. Haizz....kat skolah da jumpe, abe kat luar jumpe lagik! Wahkahahkahkahk!!!

2004-11-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was part 2 of my jln raya outing with my sec sch mates. Rather mendak than last time ah coz like only 13 ppl came. And we were suppose to meet at ain's house(1st house) at 11. so suppossedly by 11.45 like dat can blah ah... Skali ppl were so late that we left her house at 1 pm!!! Benci sak org yg star karat gile babi ni! We dilly dallied all the way. i dunno y also. Then like last yr, all the bad luck things happen 2 me during the part 2 of the jln raya. Last yr wat happen was dat baju kebaya aku butang die sume snapped off n terbukak laa dpan ALL my guy mates. Then 1 of the heels on my shoe patah. Sampai skarang blom glue balik. This yr plak, sandal aku putus. Selendang aku kene kari. Haaaiizz.... So pergilah Westmall kjap, nak beli kasut. Nak pergi NODA sebab dorang selalu ade size. Skali, design yg lawa2 sume takde size. Yg ade size aku tak berkenan. At last, korang tekalah aku beli selipar ape? Aku beli selipar OP. Hahaha.. mepek kan. So tulah, aku jln mcm budak bodoh, slippers with baju kurung n all.
Today was quite relaxing. Had no work so pagi relek ah. Had a bit of The Lord of the Rings...again on HBO. Den aku ade lah sms2 dgn ni satu budak. Budak nie aku berkenan ah. Coz dat time saw him in the train. Baju kurung n all. But one thing yg aku tak leh resist pasal die, is his goatee. I love guys with goatee. The goatee on the chin tau. Hishh...tak leh angz. So guys yg ader goatee tu, stay away from me lah coz im sure 2 like u..hahahahah!
Anywayz, dat guy was my fren nye kawan nye matair nye kawan..bace slow2 eh jadi paham. So my fren got his no. 4 me. We sms for a while den he said he has to go. He said he msg me later at nite... Yah..sampai skarang takde berita... *sobs* *sobs*..sedih ah... coz rite now for me, im feeling rather lonely. And after reading some blogs, n some fren's problem, this is the season where people break up, argue with frens or parents, has a crush on someone, miss old love, feeling lonely, bad communication. These are like the common thing that is happening. As for me, I'm lonely. I'm having a crush on someone. Lost my best friend. Arguements with family. trying to overcome my weight problem. Coz im starting to have double chin n my neck is disappearing. Aaaahhh!! Please help me! this is the time i have to look my best to attract the opposite sex but im not. So yeah, goodbye to new love coz i will forever be lonely. Who knows maybe i would even be a spinster?
Oh ya, had MCG today. Many people didnt turn up and some turn up for like an hour n den left. Some turn up for 5 mins n den left. This all brought conflicts among the group. I mean, production is so so near and people can afford not 2 come.Tak bleh ah mcm gini. It's unfair for the other people who has to memorise their scripts and take on other people's role in their absence. Once ur in a grp, u should have the responsibility n make some sacrifices what. If u think MCG is not important, den dont join it in the 1st place!! Unless u really,really have unavoidable n acceptable xcuse. Not because u r lazy ke, nak gi motek ke, jln2 kat town ker or wat so ever. Sorry if im harsh on this and hurt some people, but its just how i feel.I guess im commited to this ah. Abe kesian kan director.He has to planned n make sure evrything goes smoothly but yet, ppl dun wanna cooperate. It's just not fair people, it's just not fair.

2004-11-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

Hishh....ni pagi kan, aku peh lah liat nak bangun!! Penat n ngantok ah. Maklumlah, semalam mlm bergantung kat tepon sampai 2 pagi. Hehehehehe....
Gi keje ah mcm biaser. Masuk kol 10. Abe nari aku buat cashiering. Halamak. Dah lama tak buat. Adelah gabra sikit.Takut tersalah picit ke, tersalah order ke, tersalah bagi duit ker. But in the end, everything was quite ok. Tapi adelah satu tu makhluk nak cari pasal ngan aku. Nampak sa die tak suke sgt aku sebab aku baru. Yelah, die senior pe, die ingat die sorang je bagus pe, die ingat die org yg terpantas buat keje dlm dunia per!! Halamak!!! Sial abis ah!! Dah tu, ngada2. Eeeehhh!! GERAM!!
Haizz... takpe2. Mar n Nadiah dtg jumpe aku lpas keje. Kite nak gi town kjap.Duduk2 dulu ah mkn sebelom berangkatz. Time nak balik best. Hug2 org... Hehehe...gile eh aku?? Ah apape lah!!
Yg part gi town tu mendak sikit ah. Basically nuthing interesting happened 2day. Bende yg menyakitkan hati tu ade lah. Dah lah!! Tu jer....

2004-11-25T22:19:00.001+08:00

Haaa..korang tgk tu...gambar peh besar!!! Well yesterday, 24/11/04, kite budak budak MCG gi jln raya. Book a 20-seater bus and jln2!! Woohoo!! Thanks to the organiser Heikal. Tu pon pakkal org buih peh pasal yg kite junior2 ni nyebok...Heheheh... Ni baru some of the photos which i took from my phone. Yg gambar lain lom cuci ah.. so tunggu la yer..
But it was a whole lotta fun ah. Sume org kecoh2 dlm bas, bilang joke la, bilang teka-teki merepek la, bilang story pasal taik la,kencing la,org sengau la...hahah mcm2 sak!! Ni yg dinamakan STORY BANK BUS. Hahahah!! Uncle bus tu bukak la Perfect 10 all the way. So in the afternoon, ny fren Fadhil called the afternoon show ah to make a dedication. He got thru tapi die tanak buat dedication n in the end i had to do the dedication. Ahhh...nak tau kenapa Fadhil tanak buat dedication?? Sebab die tak pandai nak buat impromptu speech. Hahah! Die ckp sebelum die buat dedication, die tulis dulu. Hahahah!! Kiuutt kan???
Well so much for the fun, today i had work. Work starts at 10. Hmm ok2 la jgk keje. Tak bnyk org sgt. Tapi tadi mcm sial. Ade ah satu manager yg baru transfer abe tanye aku pasal food knowledge. Questions like "Where are our chickens from?" "Where are our chocolates from?" "How many types of vegetables are the in the mediterranean pasta?" "What is pepperoni?" "What is salami?"..... mcm2 gitu ah. Siak ah!! Mcm mane aku nak jwb sak?? Aku tau la sikit2 ajer... Pas tu kene lecture....die ckp kite kene tahu food knowledge in case customer tanye lah hape lah. Ye lah.. yelah.... nanti aku terpaksa buat notes la yer....
Abe tadi pagi aku bangun siang sikit ah sebab nak check results exams aku. Skali tak bleh masuk ah!! Siak btol!! Nasib baik Marni kol aku, pas tu aku suruh die check kan. Alhamdullilah, semuanya pass..takya ambik supp paper!!! Yeay!!!
Oh ya, sebelom aku ciao, kat sebelah kiri tu aku da tuka2 sikit la bende2 die... so baca2 lah eh.. n i added link to see pics. So tunggu ape lagi?? Gi ah bace!! Heheheh....

2004-11-23T20:01:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh!!! I miss blogging!!! Da lama tak blog sey. Well maybe its bcoz i didnt have anything interesting happening.
But yesterday was GREAT!! Klua jln raya ngan budak2 sec sch. There were like arnd 20 ppl like dat. Furthest we went was Tampines. Kaki peh sakit!! Ah benci kasut heels!! Came home at arnd 12.30 damn tired. But nonetheless, everyone had fun. So as usual, i like to thank the following people for making the outing a success.

Mardiana
An
Isa
Nadiah
Ain
Rahman
Nurul
Zuhri
Juliza
Syahmi
Hana
Haikal
Shahrir
Qaira
Herry
Adi
Alif
Kamal
Karmede
Haireel

Yah that's all the people.

Today, had MCG. But org sume mcm "layu" sey. Maklumlah, mood raya kan. Biase ah... But xcited sey... bsok klua ngan MCG peeps. Laz minit thingy ah....
Right now in my life, as usual, things are not that great ah. Smalam jelez ah... tgk members sume da attached. Jln ngan partners,pimpin tangan. Aku pimpin tangan dgn sape? Best friend aku, Nadiah. Haaizz.. so sad. Some more, it seems like i have "lost" a friend. We used to be so close. I go to him/her if i have a prob, he/she goes to me if he/she has a prob. Now... everything's gone. He/she already has someone new. Im not significant anymore. Haiizz... Do u noe how it feels to lose something just like dat? Total bummer. But what can i do? It's within my reach. Whatever it is i just wanna let that person noe that whatever happens, i treasure those times we had together. It's ok if im forgotten. It has always been that way anyway.........

2004-11-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

Woohoo....looks like ppl are back to blogging ya? Da puas korang sume melesap utk raya?? Haha~ Didnt mean to sound rude ya~ Baru mintak maap...Heheheh..
As for me, same old, same old. But yesterday n today has been quite exciting. Yesterday gi Causeway Point wit my fren Mar. Pas tu die ajak "kawan" die An. Heheheh... dudok2 kat Pastamania bebual abt music,drama,stuff, n more stuff. Hahahah~. It was quite fun ah. Well today klua lagi ngan dorang, tgk An n his frens gi jamming pat Yishun. Its cool ah. They play a variety of songs. Fusion la katakan, from Blink 182 to Marilyn Manson and the even sang that lagu hari raya by anuar zain in punkrock version. Hahahah~ Stail~~. But besides the excitement of folowing to jam, I had an exciting of my own. I finally changed my hp... a FUCKING flip fone!! Wooohhooooo!!!!!! SUke, suke gegerl tukar hp. Haha....tu je excitement dier. Balik tadi petang, belek2 hp lah ape lagi.
N tadikan, i just watched Lord of the rings 1 at HBO i think. Dat time i watched part 2 at HBO also. But i watched bits n pieces ah bcoz i dunno it was aired. Last time, i used to think that Lord of the Rings was some medieval merepek-tak-layan nye shitty story ah. But i was totally wrong. Since the first time i saw it, i immediately fell in love with it. Why?? Let me tell you why. Maybe it may sound nonsensical about earth fighting with the core of middle earth. But there is more to that. You can see the faith that the "good" ppl have. Like the elves, the tall guy, the normal ppl and the little ones. The loyalty that these ppl have. Like when frodo wanted to go to the darkside to demolish his rings, the legolas and the others swore by their swords,axes n bows to protect frodo. I mean, its so touching. Also Sam, frodo's companion, is so loyal to him. Ahhh... So SO nice. Especially i like the part when the "good" ppl fight those ugly monsters,trolls n goblins. I mean skillful swords skills. The speed n accuracy of legolas being able to arrow the enemies. Yelah, memang tu semua bedek but its MAKE believe like its true and duh obviously the digital effects people have done a good job. So now im looking for people yang ade VCD of the 3 series or at least the first 2 series so i can watch proper. So sesape yg bace blog ni, kalau ade vcd nye jgn lokek lah yer? Passing2 lah kat kiter. Heheh... i will return....dun worry. Hehehehehe~

2004-11-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Weeeee!!! Woke up at 11 today bcoz nobody was at home. My grandpa gi beli barang. My nenek and my aunt gi johor... jln raya.. they asked me along.. tanak ah! Panas je.... haha~
So since i was alone at home, i turned on my pc and.....CRANKED UP THE VOLUME. Buat mini club lah kat rumah jap, maklum ah, lom cukup umur sgt nak gi clubbing. Heheheheh~~
So basically, nari kat rumah tak buat apaper...I was online from 11 am until 5 pm. Hahahah... i had a sore ass after that. Well straight after that, i settled on the couch n tgk tv. I watched this chinese serial ah, its called "To Mum With Love". Let me tell you about what happened in the series that really shook me just now.
It's about this mum, she went to thailand wit her fren. She was abt to check out of the hotel when she realized she left sumthing in her room. Tapi the funny thing,ntah mcm mane bilik die dah ade org. There was a guy n lady. They had an argument and the guy accidentally killed the lady. well the mum saw evrything laa kan. Then the guy chased after her. Tapi tak dpt. So like when the coast is clear.. the mum walked in this alley,she tripped, den when she was about to get up, the camera shot the lady falling from the top floor. Supposedly the guy just now threw her out of the window to make it like suicide ah. Then the lady's dead body landed on that mum.
Next it showed that mum terjaga laa... with the dead body on top of her. It was damn freaky. But then the mum got up and masuk balik hotel lobby to look for her friend. She called her friend but her friend couldnt hear her. Then she went to talk to the reception lady. She talked in mandarin and broken english but the reception lady just ignored her. I thought it was damn rude of that lady. Skali this one young girl went up to that mum and said that "she is going the wrong way" and after that, a monk appearead and say to the mum that "this is not her place" "it isn't where she belong". Well of course the mum tak paham la den the young girl dragged her outside. And guess what?? The mum was actually dead kene hempap with the dead body. So it was actually her spirit wandering. That REALLY shook me. I dont know why but it just brought shivers throughout my whole body.
Well enough of that, after that series finish, i watched FLIPPER on HBO. Dolphins are soo adorable. I like~!!! Do u guys now that dolphins are like one of the smartest creatures ever? and they can defend themselves from shark attacks. So next time IF im attack by sharks, i know exactly where to hit the sharks. Heheheh~.. Beware sharks!!
Talking about dolphins, last yr when i was in Sec 4, i think for the mid yr of prelims, if u were the Top 5 in my class. You could go on a field trip to watch the dolphins at sentosa. then you get to touch and play with them. How nice! I like~! Well i worked hard for the exams, when the results were out, guess what position was i at??? The 6th position!!!!!!! Aaaaarrrgghhh!!!!! If that wasn't bad enough the girl who got the 5th didnt want to go... wasted... what a stupid bitch. Haiizz...

2004-11-14T21:25:00.000+08:00

So like the first time ever, nak dkat raya, aku tak payah nak kerja keras tolong bersihkan rumah n stuff. Bagus eh?? Sume org dah buatkan. Haha~
Nari raya, i was emotionless, takde perasaan sayu,sedih,gembira ataupon insaf. Setan eh aku?
Ntah la, i just feel that way. Nonetheless, the occasion was quite ok. Had relatives come over my house... Kerje aku? cuci pinggan,tuang air,cuci pinggan,buat air,cuci pinggan,goreng ayam,cuci pinggan.. Basically i was involved in a lot of mencuci pinggans. Hahahaha~!
Collection aku not bad... muahahahah *evil laugh*
Anyway, last time aku blog, lupe plak nak mintak maap yerr... So here goes,
Raudha di sini ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya kpada semua bloggers dan sesiapa sahaja.
Raudha ingin meminta ampun dan maaf jikalau ada TERkasar bahasa, TERkurang-ajar, TERlaser mulut, TERmakan, TERminum, TERlebih gurau. Ingatlah, ini semua "TER" sahaja.
Raudha hanyalah manusia. Tak lari dari kesilapan. Amin~

2004-11-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 10 today. Buat keje rumah sikit pas tu siap2 nak gi keje. Kat tempat keje, peh lah ngantok!! Tak boleh angkat sak!
Anywayz, today a lot of self reflection happened to me. Because right now, im watching drama "IKHLAS" kat SURIA.
So, aku macam sedih lah.. Ntah kenape... sedih aje... i just teringatkan die scene i played yesterday. The scene where i "died", the dua kalimah syahadah and the takbir. It brings lots of emotions to me. It keeps playing in my head, over n over again. It always makes me thinks abt death. N also aku terfikir, bila aku kahwin.. kalau ade org nak kahwin ngan aku...aku nak seseorang yang kuat ugama, yang bole bimbing aku. Yelah, itukan part of suami nye role, membimbing isterinye.
N sebelum blogging ni, aku tgk la pics2 of marni n zul together. So sweet. Membuat aku jealous sey. Thus is making me feel very,very,very lonely. Haaiiizzz.......
SO right now, im just feeling emotional... i dunno sebab raya nye mood atau pon aper. Haiz....

2004-11-11T01:40:00.000+08:00

Haaiizz...Had even a longer den yesterday. Heheh.... Mcm biaselah, pagi ader MCG, den during training manager tepon, die suruh keje. Aku nak keje no prob, cume nak bilang orang2 kat umah tu yg aku keje ader payau sikit. BUkannye aper, kan da nak dkat raya, mestilah, da start seybok. Tapi aku malas sey nak kemas rumah la... bla bla bla...
Well i think today was the best MCG EVER!!!!! K meh Mak Jan bilang asal...heheheh...
Today as a start of, aku jadi "mak" kjap coz the original actress lom dtg. We were playing the scenes where aku sakit,nazak den meninggal. Part aku nazak n meninggal tu.. was fuuuhh!!! Indescribable. I was nazak oredi lah... den abg kel was nxt to me, he was the "2nd son" den time2 aku ngah nazak, die belai2 rambut aku, pas tu bile aku da "meninggal" die pegang dahi aku pas tu die jerit "mak! mak!" kat telinga aku n die bacakan dua kalimah syahadah... n if dat was not enuff, it was followed by wak bertakbir.. it was mcm so real!! I mean, to me it felt so real and i was even crying under the sheets. Sedih skali. Sungguh memilukan. i think it was very impactful. Even marni n rinie was crying. So i hope during the actual production itself, audience would at least cry. Aku tak bermaksud nangis berbaldi-baldi lah, cume maybe shed some tears dats all. Bcause to me, it was REAL.
So after the end of MCG, after some departing words frm our director, abg kel, kite ucapkan each other Selamat Hari Raya lah. Den i suggested kite nyanyi lagu raya. N we did! It was lots of fun sey! Kite nyanyi ni satu lagu raya anuar zain tu den khai totally blew us away with his superb voice. Yah!! Itu dia abg2 McCaFe. Hahah!
So i guess this is the end of blogging for me until lpas raya. So,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

aKu iNi, aKu iTu

2004-11-10T01:32:00.000+08:00

WHoa.... had a long day today. My day was started with MCG as usual, today was a bit more serious, we did something close to a full rehearsal ah. Well since like today bnyk org tak dtg, i had more roles to take ah. Well at least tak mendak sgt sey.. more things to do.
Finished MCG kinda late ah. Around 5 like dat den rushed off to meet my peeps at far east plaza to buke puasa~! Yeay!! We buke puasa at "Taman Ros". OK lah, not bad. Basically we conquered almost the whole of that place ah. Haha~. Oh yah~ got to meet Nurul, Zuhri's gf. She very nice sey. Pretty also. Gd thing she can click with us. Tapi sayang she had to leave early. Well, i guess that leaves to jln raya then. After eat, we went lucky plaza. Nad had this big crush on this guy whom she saw at the pool place. There was a big hoo-hah over him ah. Finally, we..No wait, Nad took a pic with him... So hensem.... muke nad buat spoil! haha!!!
Well, lastly i would like to say a big thanx to those who turn up for today's event.

Nadiah
Mardiana
Nazia
Ain
Rahman
Nurul
Zuhri
Alif
Sharir
Syahmi
Qaira
Haireel
Rana
Jegan
Herry
Adi
Kamal
Yati
Dinah

I hope i didnt missed out any names, Thanx u guys for coming!!!

Rafi nak toy!! Rafi nak toy!!

2004-11-08T19:46:00.000+08:00

Today had MCG. Well finally proper practice has started. It waas lotsa fun ah! Bloopers, blur people and many typo errors. All acumulate to dozens of laughter. I was laughing and laughing and laughing. In the end, I was having a bad migraine. Damn!!!
My role, i play this like canniving( is this how u spell it?) bitch ah. I influenced my friend to leave her husband but in front of her husband, i flirt wit him. How slutty can i get?? Hahah! But i love my role, I wish I had a bit more role and more impactful ah... But hey, ni kan pasal Hari raya eh... But nonetheless.... Impact people! Impact!
Nothing interesting happen today, just the usual. But can't wait till tomoorrow. Outing wit ma ex peeps!!

FinaLLy~

2004-11-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

Yeay yeay!! Finally! a new skin! Took me donkey years to find a nice skin. Well this skin not bad la... i like the colour combination, Well since my absence for so long, a lot has been happening in my life. Good,bad.... But mostly bad ah.
Well hari raya is coming, everybody is excited and now has started to "feel" the hari raya's atmosphere. Well, not me. I just dun noe y. It has always been like this for every year. To me hari raya is just a day where MANY people come to my house, lots of food and money ah. That's all. The feeling of forgiving, seeking forgiveness, unity and celebrating the 1 month of fasting is just not there lah. I also don't know why. N i have never cried before when seeking for forgiveness except 2 years ago, i cried because i think i was very naughty lah. Heheheh and i repented..for a while! Hahahah......Ya... so basically im just dreading hari raya. The day itself and the process to it. Sick? Maybe... but that's just the way how i feel. Can't wait till all these is over. Well time check is now 12.20 am on a Mon ah. Like 5 mins ago, the phone rang. I was shocked. Wondering who the hell would wanna call at this hour. The 1st thing that came to my mind was Ju On. Heheh... you know where the part got that sick creepy voice on the phone? Well i picked it up ah... AND as i expected no one was there, instead i could hear like shuffling or ruffling of paper bags like that. SICK!! Arrgghh! Immediately i put down the phone. Blardy hell!!

2004-11-05T01:43:00.000+08:00

Ok people~!!!! Sori MIA(missing in action) for so long. Because im sick of dis skin ah... tot of changing but cant find a nice n suitable one.. so i guess juz improvise ah~! Needs a lot of editing manz~!.

T H I S I S H O W I F E E L! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

2004-10-14T13:05:00.000+08:00

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like

WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!

2004-10-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night i was watching MTV when i saw clay aiken's video clip:The Way. Then i don't know why, i just started crying. I think the lyricis meaningful,

There's something about the way you look tonight
There's something about the way that I can?t take my eyes off you
There's something about the way your lips invite
Maybe it?s the way that I get nervous when you're around
And I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why

It?s in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It?s in the way that you hold me
And in the way that you know me
When I can?t find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh you feel it in the way

It?s something about how you stay on my mind
It?s something about the way that I whisper your name when I?m asleep
oh girl Maybe it?s the look you get in your eyes
Maybe it?s the way that makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I?m feeling stays the same

See, it's soo sweet and now i don't know im just in this depressing mood ah. Like i soo totally like this 1 guy in my lecture group. Just call him J ok? Haizz... But i know whatever i want, i will never get. So why must this situation be any different right?
See, i hate it when i'm already stressed about some things and other external factors come and contribute to depress me more. S I G H......
Fighting with family about working. They expect ME to understand THEM. But they will never ever want to understand how im feeling, what i want or what matters most to me. NEVER!!
This strong opposition is just leading me to opression. Defeats the purpose sia...
SO basically im just a loner. I only have my friends with me. But now even my best friend seems to distant herself away from me. All because of that fucker. Arrghh!! That is why i seek a medium where i can express my thoughts,feelings and will react to me the way i want them to be. Someone who is more than just a friend but close like a family.....
When will i ever find such a person?

2004-10-12T12:55:00.000+08:00

12.50 pm on a tuesday. Having a 4 hour break rite now, STILL not doing my essay. You're gonna die raudha!!! Anyway, blogging comes first. Haha~! HOpefully after this, i will change my skin, and after that then do my essay.. just MAYBE. Haha. BUt i made a promise i WILL hand in the essay on its due date, which is this friday. I'm left till thursday to finish up around 900 more words. Lagi 900 nak kene korek dari juboh ah agaknye. Tak tau mane nak dpt. SO thursday sch finishes at 12 for me. Then maybe i will be mugging at e plaza doing the essay. So if u wanna look for me, go to e-plaza at SHS ya. Hahah~
Tomorrow im working, so no time to do essay. Aaarrrgghh!! So stressed about this essay thingy. Can't wait till friday. then only have to stress about exam. But i think study wise is not so stressful ah. i love studying for exams. Heheheh....
Im sooo going to have a lot of white hairs. Im so sensitive to stress. See la.. im so stressed that im dumping my face in chocolates. Usually i dont do chocolates ah. But if u see me stuffing my face with chocolate, u noe la something is not right. So just come up to me and ask whether im facing any problem ok? If not i might turn suicidal. hahahhaah~~!!!
Ok lah..... so much for blogging. Essay... Here i come!!

2004-10-08T14:40:00.000+08:00

Aaarrgghh!!! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!! Ultimate madness is happening right now people!! OK lah, madness for me only i guess. Like i said,there is just so much things to do and there is SOOOO little time!! Yesterday, went home at 12 ah cause need to go geylang look for hari raya clothes. Ok lah, the outing wasn't so bad. Got 2 pair of baju kurungs. Yet another pair,bag and shoes are yet to come. Then by night time, i was busy preparing for the ICA presentation this monday!! arrgghh! had to complete dumbshit stuffs. Luckily i managed to complete it cause i had to bring it to school today. I totally had no time to even touch that essay man.
Today, trouble with waking up again ah... as usual... by the time i woke up,took a bath,bla bla bla it was already 9.30. asked my grandfather for $12 to take taxi. Hahaha!! Bcoz my bag was fucking heavy ah n i need to bring those dumbshit vanguards. Reach school and i sat at mac with marni and wediah. When eating, my eyes were totally going to popped out ah. Guess who i saw??? My ex ah. Rizal is his name. I was stunned ah. Aaahh!! So i decided to go up to him n say hi or something. I was rather excited ah. So i said hi and asked wether he recognize me or not. He said ya. SO i asked him what he was doing here. He said he was fetching HIS GF. i dont know why but my heart just sunk ah. He's in TP doin law n mgt. I SOOOO wanted that course. Damn!
BUt ya... so that's how things goes ah. Clinical lab lesson was ok ah.
I n marni couldn't manage to sell off the damn donation tix by lab lesson so we went "hunting" after sch to ask 4 donation ah. Hahah!
This goes out to those donaters ya: I wanna say a big thanx!
Me
Marni
Wediah
Rini
Tzy Huey ( is this how ou spell ur name?)
Abg Nasir(ya the thought that counts.haha)
Rini
Kak Faizah
Rahmah
Qamarul

So after all these madness, im back at e-plaza,mugging, trying my very best to do my essay. My goal is to finish the shit by the end of this week. Hopefully! =)

P.S This is like the longest ever post i've ever posted ah.

2004-10-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

Time-check, 1.35pm. Haiz... Going to work at 2. Starts work at 3 and will be doing until 11pm. Shit. At e-plaza right now, updating this blog and doing that stoopid 1200 communication skills essay. Well at least i got it started right. So so so so so so many things to do. Finish the dumb essay, must have my part or ICA presentation done by Friday, must work, aaarrrggghh!!!
Today,as usual, i couldn't wake up on time.....AGAIN!!!! So annoying!! Eh! This is going to be a big problem ok. Fuck.

2004-10-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

Haiz.... tuesday, time check 4.25 pm. Waiting for the lecture at 6. Munching on Oreo's given to me by Rahmah. I want my Oreo's please. Haha!! Anyway, today morning i had school at 10. I told my grandmother to wake me up at 8. She did. Then i was ignorant and went to bed again. Haha! THe next time when i woke up it was already 9.05 am. DAMN! I sms marni and told her to go first. And guess what?.... I went to bed again. Hahahaha!!!! I woke up at 10.40am. THen no choice la... Woke up, took a bath, came out of the toilet at 11.30. Get dressed, left the house, took 985 to CCK mrt and took the train. I was totally taking my own sweet time. Missed morning socio lecture and 2 hrs bio practical. My attendance record is so going to drop. Damn! Hope i won't get a warning letter ah. Raech school, went to south canteen n had lunch. Haiz... den after that was too ful to go for tutorial. Hahaaha!!!

2004-10-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

Monday.....B O R I N G!!! School starts at 11. Took the train with Wediah.. and guess who we saw? Mr "Hey-I-will-stab-u-frm-the-back". Never go school sia. Go JB. Always go JB. Watever. Got a C for dat stupid clinical theory test. Thank God ah. Well today nothing much ah. MCG also boring. Actually no meeting today.
Wah yesterday like fuck man. I was working until closing damn fucking tiring!! Finish at 11.30. Reach chua chu kang, 985 no more already. Babi!!

2004-10-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

Aaahh... Finally it's friday. This week had just been kinda a chaotic week. The stupid bio test, the training. Well i've started working. My first day was on wednesday and thursday i worked again. Well the job isn't that tough la... But in about 2 weeks time i got a mini "test" i need to know the food la so then i can work at the support station/cashier. Well that's gonna be kinda cool i think. The people there are not bad. Young people ah. Majority chinese. But it's ok. I'm not working today. But will be working tomorrow and sunday. Haaiz... got this stoopid 1200 words essay due in 2 weeks time. D I E !!!!!!!!

2004-09-29T09:37:00.000+08:00

Well yesterday went for the Pastamania training thingy. Well it was basically just talking and talking.... more talking...reading passages of history... *sheesh* But at the end of teh session we went to Pastamania at Funan and had free dinner!! Woohoo!! Marinara with a lot,a lot of parsley and parmesan cheese. Man, im gonna grow fatter. Anyway, my arm is bruising BADLY. Stupid shit!! So painful. =(
Guess what, yesterday at the training, we got phonecall la fom Causeway's branch. Then me, and this one guy, Fazli or something has to start work TODAY. Like super fast ah! Damn!
Yesterday the people who went for training were ok ah. Coincidentally there was this guy from my primary school ah. i recognized him, he recognized my face also. Haha. Then took the train back with him. We like totally never spoken to each other our entire life and yesterday there we were talking like we've really known each other for a long time. Hahahaha! But it was good experince though. Meet new people,old people and make friends and stuffs. But just wish me luck on my first day at work today ok? See ya! ;)

2004-09-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

Aaaarrgghh!! So totally going to fail the stupid Bioscience practical exam. I don't even know there was going to be a theory test. And suey suey, the questions that come out in th etheory i didn't study. Thank goodness the questions were like chemistry related so i use Sec 3 and 4 memory to do the test. Sigh....
Damn sleepy today!! Sleepier than ever!! Aaarrgghh!!!
But anywayz, did a meaningful thing today, went to donate my blood. First time experince, the staffs were friendly luckily. My arm was exposed to local anesthetic and huge,fat IV needle. *shudders* But it was kinda cool to see your blood being collected. I have lots of blood to spare anywayz, so what the heck? I could might as well save those abang2 hensem who get involve in an accident and needs B+ blood. Hahhaaha!!

2004-09-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

Time check, 10.24 am. Jus after a appetizing,hot and tantalizing Hotcakes breakfast which goes down my tummy oh so smoothly. Do you why it tastes so good?? Because i've already finished the damn clinical lab practical and i passed!!!! Wooohoooo!!!! Well i guess i didn't pass well, but hey! the bottom line is that i pass right? Finally i can breath easily. So will be looking forward to today's MCG practice. =) But will be toiling later tonight for tomorrow's Bioscience practical test.
Shitty!!

FiNaLLy, ThiNgS aRe GoInG FiNe...

2004-09-25T02:50:00.000+08:00

Today is such a damn relaxed day. Thank god!! It's friday. Yeay!! Yesterday i went to Causeway and by luck i interview at PASTAMANIA. I think got the job man. Thank god i don't have to go for that damn banquet training. And the audition on wednesday was sweet!! smooth man!! Me.marni,rini and hafiz stood up above the others. We got potential. Weeewiit!! But yet, this weekend will be a rather stressful one. MOnday is the fucking clinical lab practical test!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-09-23T07:01:00.000+08:00

It's 4pm in the LATE afternoon. Feeling sleepier than ever!!! AAaarrgghh!! Got MCG later at 5, arrgghh. N the dumb audition is on, AGAIN!! FUCK ah!!! Had lunch at SIM's. GoooooooooD food. Tomorrow will be the stupid clinical theory test. Next monday is the practical. SO much for a relaxing weekend! Dammit!! Then still got the damn training on Saturday. S I G H... what a LOOOOOOOOOONG week it is!!!!

2004-09-22T08:32:00.000+08:00

Ok ok, i know i'm the dead goth queen. But if you look at the image carefully, the eyes of the goddess holds so much hate,sadness and also this goddess has element of sexiness in her. SO that's why this goddess best describes me. =)

2004-09-22T03:51:00.000+08:00

S L E E P Y !!!!!!!!! Aaarrgghh!! Purposely woke up late today. was 1hr late for school. Missed 1st lecture, whatever!! Next lesson was bioscience pratical. We got this Dr Wong ah, whom my friend thinks is super cute and he makes her "high". Well not really to me. Tomorrow will be doomsday as results of MCG will come out. Thursday is goin 2 b a bigger doomsday as theory and practical lab test will be on. S T R E S S. Fuck man.
Its a fucked up world and a fucked up place.
everybody's judged by their fucked up face.
Fucked up mom and a fucked dad with a fucked up cop with a fucked up badge
Fucked up kid, a fucked knife and with the fucked up knife she ends her fucked up life.
If i say fuck 2 more times its 14 fuck in this fucked up ryhme.

2004-09-17T10:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm,finally things are starting to set in the right direction. I got the job at Suntec. This Sunday is the damn training. Today my class will have a barbeque at East Coast. Hope things will go fine.
BUT, a new conflict has arrive. The return of the "BACKSTABBER". They are invading at a school near you. Beware, they might just hit on you so fast that you won't realize it. This"BACKSTABBER" move around usually individually but sometimes they go in groups. They will get to you through a middle party, who can be your best friend. These "BACKSTABBERS" will bitch about you to your friend. But these "BACKSTABBERS" have very very very very low IQ. Because they don't even know your friend But want to bitch about you to them. Don't they know that BEST FRIENDS tell each other's EVERYTHING?? One special feature about this "BACKSTABBER" is that he has no friends and is always lonely. That's why he resort to backstabbing. But he/she won't get the best of me. Cause he/she is a coward who doesn't stand up for his rights and LIES. So chicken that he won't dare to confront me. So let him/her be. Like i say. Fuckers have no say in my life.

P.S: This post is dedicated to the one and only:________(you know who you are dammit!)

2004-09-16T12:08:00.001+08:00

Fucked up people,Fucked up Things
Fucked up this and fucked up that.
Why the hell is everything is sooo fucked up???
I hate it...

2004-09-16T12:08:00.000+08:00

Fucked up people,Fucked up Things
Fucked up this and fucked up that.
Why the hell is everything is sooo fucked up???
I hate it...

2004-09-15T14:05:00.000+08:00

Shit. Things got from bad to worse. Like I said,turning 17 really sux big time. There is NOTHING sweet about it. Trusts me. This is the worst year of my life. Now I’m on the verge of getting kicked out of my house. Yippee!! So I guess I can just quit school, work full-time, earn enough, not get married coz no one wants to marry an ugly toad like me anyway. And forever living my life as a DUMB,HATED,TOTAL UNSIGNIFICANCE,IRRESPONSIBLE,IDIOTIC,UNGRATEFUL bitch that I am. Well, that’s what SOME people say. I don’t know. What do you think???

2004-09-15T07:40:00.000+08:00

Aaaarrgghh!!! Aaahhh!!! Aaahh!!! This is the 3rd fuckin blog dat i have done! Shitty blog! Anywayz, had this dumb sociology tests just now.HOpefully i faired well in it.Busy organising class bbq thingy. Haiz~~ So many things to do! So Little time!!

[-*LiFe's a BiTcH N DeN YoU DiE*-]